


True Potential

by TheShyOne



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Loki is being a real mean trickster, Manipulation, Mind Manipulation, Psychological Torture, Rape/Non-con Elements, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Torture, dark characters, the avengers are actually good guys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-07-01 22:37:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 33,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15783525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheShyOne/pseuds/TheShyOne
Summary: Life hasn’t exactly been easy for Tony Stark, especially not after the incidents in New York and Sokovia, but he will soon find himself in a far darker situation when the obsessive god of mischief gets his hands on him.  Loki have a deep rooted fascination with the brilliant inventor and is willing to go to any length to make sure that he can keep Tony at his side. Even if it means that he have to hurt him to show him his own potential.





	1. Prolog

A trickster is always going to be a trickster. The mischievousness runs in my blood and demands chaos to spark from my hands. I thrive in it, find comfort in it, but that doesn't mean that I can't appreciate order. You can't have one without the other after all. That's why I need him. The one who seeks so desperately to find order in a world on fire. He who builds his toys from scraps of metal with the belief that he can save lives, when in reality I know he's capable of so much more. I can sense a dark curiosity in those mahogany eyes, an envy of sort. He's not like the others, I knew that from the first time I laid my eyes on him. He´s braver, wittier and … sadder. And sadness often turns into desperation.  


My brother has told me on more than one occasion about the `man of iron`. He speaks with so much pride in his voice about the battles they have fought side by side, about the clever contraptions designed to aid them in their battle against evil, and his hospitality when inviting them all into his home. My brother´s words make him out to be a good man, and I can't but agree with him- Anthony Edward Stark truly is a brilliant man. But even though I love my brother and have trust in his judge of character I fear his naivety gets the best of him sometimes. Graciousness is often a disguise worn by someone plagued by guilt, sorrow and anger. And Antony is no exception, he's just a man who wears his mask with a bit more creativity, hiding behind a facade of iron and the title of “hero”. But you should never let a title define you; I know that better than anyone. “Monster”, “villain”, “malicious”. They are all labels that's been thrown at my person by the people who are supposed to show kindness, mercifulness and understanding. Humans are so primitive in that matter. They see everything in black and white, and the desire to categorize and put things in boxes are a part of their psychology. But it takes one to know one, and when I look at Stark I can see myself reflected in his being. Behind that serious face of his I can see a spark of mischief. A longing to strip away the character he created for himself and show his true face.  


He may look at his team with love and call them his family, but I know that isn't completely true. The Avengers have blinded him, manipulated him into believing that his genius is put to use in keeping the humans safe, but in reality they are scared of him. Scared of his unpredictableness, stubbornness and his brilliance. They know what he is capable of and therefore made him a part of the team, if only as a way of keeping track of him and keep him under control. But I'm not scared, on the contrary I'm intrigued. It would be a tragedy to let all that potential go to waste, and I'm confident that when I open up his mind to the endless possibilities, he will see it too.


	2. Chapter 2

Life was slowly returning back to normal, or as normal as life can be when you are a genius billionaire philanthropist, the bearer of the iron man suit and a member of the crime-fighting group better known as the Avengers. Not a bad list of titles to add to your name. Tony Stark was known for many things, but humble wasn't exactly one of his strongest personality traits. The title of ´iron man ´was one he wore with pride, not only because of its intricate design, but also because of what it symbolizes. The suit gave him the opportunity to rewrite his legacy, and taught him that there is more than one way of insuring people’s safety. But he soon found the title to be heavier to bare than he first anticipated. The attack on New York had proven that Stark's genius wasn't enough to protect the humans. He didn't like to admit it, but the event had terrified him. His vast knowledge about technology and his imagination had long proven to be not only his, but the team as a whole´s, greatest weapon. So when he witnessed the sky above them being ripped apart, allowing an alien army to wreak havoc, he was stunned at what to do. To be forced to believe in the unbelievable would be enough to drive someone into madness. But to have to put those fears aside and face the threat head on as the hero the citizens referred to him as was even more maddening. He was scared, but so was the helpless civilians caught up in the fight. So he hid behind the facade of a strong and fearless warrior and swore to protect the people who had put their trust in him, and he nearly lost his life in the process. 

Tony had taken a big hit that day. Not necessarily physical, even though his body indeed had suffered a lot during the ordeal, but the psychological damage was what affected him the most. He was left with an unsettling fear and a hopelessness beyond anything he had ever experienced before. Loki, a god from a far of world, had been enough to question everything he thought he knew about the world, but he had been manageable. Just like with his once trusted friend and mentor Obadiah, and later on Justin Hammer, Stark had been able to put his broad skillset and wit to use and overcome the challenge. But the vast unknown of space had been something completely different, so different and beyond terrifying that it had latched onto him and planted a seed of anxiety in his chest. He needed to protect everyone, every single one, but even he could see that that wasn't possible. The Avengers may be a collected team of the earth strongest and sharpest ´heroes´, but they could only do so much and Stark knew that. That's why he convinced Banner to help him create Ultron, a program designed to help the avengers in keeping the earth safe from otherworldly threats. But just like so many times before he had let his obsession get the best of him, resulting in an event that claimed many lives and left his team in distrust of him. He knew that he had screwed up and he knew that he was the one to blame, but it still hurt to see the disappointed looks of his teammates, the very people he had wanted to protect. 

Times had been rough after the Sokovia incident. Stark had put on a delighted face when he left Rogers behind to train the newest members of the group. They all tried to move on and move forward, but the guilt was still eating away at him. That day, Stark had driven from their new base in New York to his residence in California. The drive had been too long and tiring for him to keep the thoughts at bay, and the moment he arrived home he had collapsed into Potts arms. He had let his mask slip, knowing full well that the woman was more than capable of seeing through his lies. Stark had wanted to beg for forgiveness for his mistakes, but knew that Potts wasn't the right one to receive his apologue, and more heartbreaking, that his words and tears wouldn't change a thing about the events. 

They had stayed like that for quite some time with Stark silently shaking and Potts rubbing soothing circles into his back. Potts knew better than anyone the weight that rested on the man's shoulders, so even though she knew that the mistakes he committed were unforgivable she knew better than to respond with anger and disappointment. After all, the man in her arms only wanted to protect the ones he held dear and his brilliant mind had acted out of the desperation of his heart. 

It took him a while to return back to his old habits and routines, mostly spending his time in his lab and not daring to face anyone outside of the comfort of his home. Even after the rest of the Avengers seemed to have forgiven and moved on, Stark found it hard to allow himself to let go of the memories. The confident smirk, the clever comments and the cheerful gleam in his eyes were all a part of his new disguise, one much more fragile than his iron one. But deep down he was still a genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist, and with no ´hero-duties ‘to take up his time, there were nothing holding him back from attending fancy parties and drinking until all thoughts left his mind. He knew it wasn't the right thing to do, but at least he wasn't locking himself up in the basement with his inventions. These little late night adventures allowed him to get out, socialize and think about something else for a bit without the pressure of being iron man. But on one faithful night out he stumbled upon the person he would least expect to meet in a bar. 

“You look awful.” A dark and calm voice could be heard as the owner neared the seated man by the counter. 

“Well, I'm sorry my appearance isn't to your liking. “ Too tired to care or put much thought into his answer, Stark stayed faced away from the stranger. He knew that he probably looked exhausted, and the lack of his usual charm was a proof of that. 

“That's not what I meant…” The stranger carefully reached out and put his hand on Stark´s shoulder, tired of talking to the back of the man's head. 

Stark finally turned, slightly annoyed by the stranger´s action, but quickly froze in his chair once fully turned towards the man beside him. “Loki?” 

“If you don't mind, I would really like that drink now. You promised me one, remember? Loki said with a small smile on his lips as he laughed softly at the expression of complete shock on Stark´s face. Everything about the god's demeanor went against everything Stark knew about the trickster, but more importantly, his very existent sent shivers down his spine. If the rebellious brother of his teammate was on earth, trouble was bound to follow, and Stark didn't know if he was strong enough, physically and mentally, to handle it. 

“What are doing here, Loki?” “I would have thought that as a friend of my beloved brother you would be a bit more excited over my little visit.” 

“Little visit? Last time you visited earth you brought along an alien army, turned one of our greatest fighters against us and almost wiped out New York. I think that I'm entitled to say that you are no longer welcomed here. So whatever plan you have I would highly recommend that you scrap it and leave.” 

“I may be a villain in your eyes, Tony, but don't think that I'm a fool. I know when I've been beaten. I can ensure you that I didn't come here to pick a fight.” For the first time during the encounter Stark turned and looked at Loki, not just his face but his whole being. His eyes scanned the god as if he was trying to find a crack in the facade but failed to do so. With a sigh he raised his hand, signaling for the bartender to mix up a drink for the newcomer. 

“So, if you didn’t come down to wreck the planet, why did you bother?" 

“You seem perfectly capable to wreck the planet without my help, Mr. Stark. Misfortune seems to follow you like the plague.” Loki took a sip from his drink and smirked at the face his statement had provoked. “Or maybe….” he leaned in closer to study the man in front of him. “You seek it out deliberately?” 

At that Stark took a sip from his own glass, avoiding eye contact with Loki who simply sat back with a smug look on his face. “What do you want?” 

“I've come to offer a business proposal.” 

“A business proposal? You must be joking. Who in their right mind would want to work for you?” 

“With me,” Loki corrected with a rise of his eyebrow. “And I'm confident in my decision.” 

A bit confused over the sudden change of topic, Stark pointed a hand towards his chest and spoke. “Me? Well let me see. First you broke into my house and wreaked havoc.” Stark counted his arguments of his hand while the irritation became clearer in his voice. “Then you tried to brainwash me with your magic glow stick. And then you threw me out a window. ” He stopped his ranting to take a sip from his glass. “I'm sorry, but I failing to see why you ever believed that I would agree to something like that.” 

“You and I can both see that the avengers initiative isn't enough to stimulate your mind. You seek something else, something bigger, to occupy yourself with. Why else would you spend so many nights drinking and hanging out in bars like these?” 

“So we are spying on each other now?” 

“Merely keeping an eye out. Wouldn't want to miss any future possibilities.” 

No matter how much Stark despised the thought, Loki had a point. It was true that he at times felt dissatisfied with the Avengers, but not for the reason Loki might think. Stark was already doing what he could to help out and put his brain to use, but with the assembled group came the opportunity to help people on a much greater scale. And even though he didn't like to admit it, the team made him feel needed, like he was important. But underneath the metal and the technology he was still just a man, a fact that had been terrifyingly obvious to him during the previous missions. The only reason for him to leave the group with confidence would be if he knew that they were no longer needed. That had been his whole reason behind creating Ultron- to ensure the planets safety. But in the end, the only think he had managed to achieve was more chaos, pain and misfortune. 

“I can see great potential in you, Stark. It would be a shame to not use such a brilliant mind to its full capacity.” 

“I don't know if I should take that as a compliment, coming from you.” 

“I know what it's like to be looked down upon by the bigger, stronger people. To be shunned and taken advantage of. You and I are the same” 

“We are nothing alike. I would never sacrifice innocent lives to achieve my own goals, something you seems to have no problem with.” 

“Oh, is that so? Have the almighty Stark forgotten how he achieved the fortune and fame used to claim the title of Iron man?” 

Stark downed the last of his drink before standing up, looking Loki dead in the eyes. “I don't know what you are playing at, but I'm not falling for it. I won't be a part of your next big quest of evil, end of discussion.” He made his way towards the door to face the dark of the night outside. 

“You are nothing more than a useful tool for the avengers to use as they please. When they no longer have any use of you they will not hesitate to throw you away. It's really just a matter of time,” Loki called after him, knowing full well that a touch of his hand wouldn't be enough to keep him in his seat a second time. “I’m expecting to hear your decision tomorrow night.” Stark may have walked away from their conversation, but Loki was still confident that his words had made their way into the man´s already fragile mind. Tony Stark was a brilliant man, but no code is impossible to crack as long as you know which buttons to press. The only thing left for Loki to do was wait.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, and thanks for reading so far. I used to write fanfiction quite a lot back in the days and I’m trying to get back at it again. So please I would really appreciate your feedback.   
> I will try to update the story as frequently as possible, but I am also working on a story of my own so I can’t promise too much.   
> Thanks again.

Exhausted from the night's sudden change of event and the amount of alcohol now in his system, Tony returned home. That his nightly adventure would result in a meeting with one of the most bothersome villains was certainly a surprise, but his mind was occupied with far more confusing questions. Why had Loki decided to return after his previous defeat? And why had he specifically sought out him? Loki had something planned, that was for curtain. The question, however, was whether or not it was worth alarming the rest of the group. His instincts were telling him to alert Steve or Fury about the god's arrival, but his curiosity was pulling him in a different direction. If he would tell he was certain that his words would result in Loki being sent back to Asgard or the god´s imprisonment. Deep down he knew that was the right thing to do, but even so he found it hard to act. Loki could easily have released chaos on the city or made his presence known to the avengers through other means, but he hadn’t. He deliberately sought out Tony to offer him a position by his side. The reason was still a mystery and that's exactly why Tony found it so difficult to call his teammates. Thor would probably have some sympathy for him, them being brothers and all, but Tony was positive that the others wouldn't be as merciful.  


“He's a powerful, manipulative trickster, and a convicted criminal. This shouldn't even be a matter of discussion…” Tony muttered to himself as he slumped down on the couch. The thoughts and never ending questions were starting to become unbearable, filling every corner of his mind like a thick fog. He massaged his temples in an attempt to soothe the growing headache.  


“Tony?” Pepper´s soft voice cut through the haze and pulled him back to reality.  


“I´m sorry, Pep. Did I wake you up?” He tried to not evoke any concern, but his tired voice was giving him away.  


“Did something happen?”  


“No, everything is fine. I should probably have skipped that last drink, though.” Humor had become his strongest shield in keeping all the real emotions at bay. Pepper had put up with enough of his problems over the years, to expect anything more would only be selfish. At least, that's what he told himself. So he kept his worries inside his own head and flashed her a small smile, deciding that the conflict at hand could wait a few more hours. “You should get some sleep.”  


“ ´We´ should get some sleep,” Pepper corrected with a stern face.  


“Yeah, you are probably right.”  


“I'm always right.” At that Tony laughed and rose from the coach, following Pepper as she returned into the bedroom. The thoughts of the night were still present, but resembled more the low buzzing of static and less like the vicious thunderstorm it had before. Even though Pepper remained silence, the mere presence of her being was enough to keep Tony grounded and eventually allowed him to fall asleep.  
To think that Tony would be granted a full night's rest without any disturbances was however no more than a wishful thought. A few hours in, Pepper woke up by the frightful whimpering escaping the man next to her. His fists were clenching as his breathing become more ragged, pearls of cold sweat decorated his skin. Debating whether not it was better to leave him be or wake him up, Pepper carefully placed her hand on his shoulder. She had heard that it could be dangerous to try to wake someone up from a bad dream, but she couldn’t stand seeing him so clearly in distress. So she swallowed her logic and called out to him,  


“Tony?” Her attempt were only met by more whimpers, and she watched with pain in her chest as Tony curled up, protecting his body against invisible enemies. Tony Stark was that kind of man to hide his pain and his troubles, finding more importance in the feelings of the people around him. The only time he really let that facade slip were in his sleep, something he had tried to avoid by drinking or working in the lab. Cuts and bruises were something Pepper could handle, but this was completely different. A few bandages and stitches wouldn't cut it, and since Tony were refusing to open up there were nothing she could do to ease the pain.  


“Tony!” This time Pepper put more power behind her words and shook his shoulder. Tony jolted awake and gripped her hand in a panic, his breathing still labored.  


“Pepper?”  


“I´m here, Tony. Just breathe. Everything is alright.”  


Alright? He should have known better than to believe that he would be allowed a break from all the crazy his title of a hero brought with it. But this time it wasn’t the death of his comrades, or a spacecraft exploding as he fell through space, cold and completely alone, that had startled him. No, this nightmare had only shown him one face, a face he had hoped to never see again.  


“I need to go.” He tried to inhale deeply through his nose and exhale through his mouth like he had been taught, but the anxiety was slowing growing in his chest.  


“Tony…”  


He couldn't do this. He had do get out before he lost it completely, refusing to show anymore weakness in front of the people who dependent on him. “I´m sorry, Pep. I'm sorry.” He quickly rose from the bed and walked out the room, trying his hardest to ignore the worried and confused voice of Pepper. He didn't know what to do, but he knew he had to do something. So he did what he did best- tinkering.  


Twisted and distorted images of the demented god flashed before Tony's eyes. Just when he thought he had managed to get away from all the chaos he found himself being dragged right back into it. He shut his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to shut Loki out by replacing him with every intricate detail of his suit. Every bolt and screw, every wire and circuit. Every piece a reminder that he was safe. He had managed to handle the god before, so why not a second time? Last time he had had the rest of the team to cover his back, but the situation was different now. Tony was alone, but so was Loki, and the god had yet to make a move.  


“I can do this. I can do this.” He repeated the words like a mantra, a tool to help him stay grounded and his mind focused.  
It had just been a meeting, an exchange of words with no threats or indications of violence. So why did it still stress him out so much? Maybe it was a part of his anxiety disorder, making him blow things out of proportion. Or maybe it was the unknown that scared him. Loki wanted him for something. What exactly was still an unknown fact. But the fact that Loki had asked for permission rather than just snatch him up made him feel uneasy.  


Since the lack of sleep had started to make its presence clear, Tony stopped his pacing and sank into his chair. “Maybe I should just call Cap…” He combed a hand through his hair with a sigh. Loki was a dangerous and very powerful being, that much had already been proven. So maybe it would be a good thing to have some kind of backup, a plan B of sort just in case. On the other hand, attempting to capture Loki could force him to make desperate decisions, decisions that would most likely lead to more casualties. Tony reached for his phone and looked at it in defeat. He wanted to call Bruce, knowing that his green alter ego had successfully knocked the god out during their last encounter. But he also knew that the scientist wanted to stay as far away from chaos as he possibly could. Clint and Natasha could also be of help, but he knew neither of them were particularly big fans of his. And Thor, well, did the god of thunder even have a cellphone?  


“Fuck…” It seemed like there were only one man left to call- Steve Rogers. He knitted his eyebrows in pain as he started to dial the dreaded number.  


“I really expected more of you, Stark. Where is your curiosity? Your pride?”  


Tony dropped the phone in surprise as the disappointed voice echoed against the walls of his lab.  


“How did you get in here?”  


“I'm a god. Do you really think that breaking an entrance is that big of a challenge?”  


“You know what? Why don't you help yourself to the fridge while you're at it, huh? Make yourself at home.” JARVIS should be able to keep any unwelcomed guests away, especially from his lab, but somehow the god had found a loophole in his security system. He would have to look deeper into that, but now was not the time. Tony wasn't so much scared as he was annoyed over the sudden visit. It had been a rough night and the last thing he needed was for his nightmare to stride right into his home, his safe place.  


“Stark, I do realize that I do not dictate your actions, nor do I wish to do so. I quite enjoy your unpredictableness. I do however wish for you to reconsider my proposal.”  


“I don't know what kind of man you think I am, but I don't work with the bad guys.”  


“If I remember correctly, you yourself used to be associated as a ´bad guy”  


“Those times are behind me. I stopped manufacturing, did a complete rebranding of the company. I changed.”  


Loki moved towards Tony, a small smirk on his lips. “Oh, but do you really think a man is capable of that drastically of a change? To go from murderer to hero? The actions are all the same, it's just the title that changed.  


“I wasn't the one who pulled the trigger.”  


Loki grabbed him by the chin and tilted his head back, fixing his eyes with his.  


“No, but you might as well have been. You may tell yourself that you´ve changed, but we both know the truth. Chaos is a part of your nature, Stark. You crave it, long for it. And as long as you insist on playing hero with my brother and the others you will never be truly satisfied.”  


Tony had grown tired of the chin grab. It made him feel small, inferior. What was up with these Asgardians constantly grabbing at his throat anyway?  


“It seems to me that you are the one who lack satisfaction. What's up with that, anyway? Did daddy not pay enough attention to you? Did mommy not love you?” Loki´s grip on the other´s chin tightened as his eyes darkened.  


“Don't threaten me, Stark. I doubt you will enjoy the consequences. And I need you to stay in good health.”  


“Last time you threatened the lives of others, I kicked your ass.”  


“I threw you through a window.”  


“Well, I indirectly kicked your ass.” Loki finally let go of Tony´s face and let out a frustrated sigh.  


“This isn’t a competition of strength. I couldn't care less about your role as the man of iron. I'm far more interested in that brilliant mind of yours.”  


“Wow, hold on. This is moving way too quickly for my liking. You haven't even taken me out for dinner and you already expect to skip to the good stuff?” Tony rose from his chair, feeling uncomfortable under the god´s stare. Standing up he could at least imagen being on equal grounds as the being in front of him, even though his height didn't do much to boost his confidence. “But do tell me, Loki. If you are only interested in my intellect, then what makes you different from the avengers, from SHIELD?”  


“They want to confine you, keep you in line. I, on the other hand, want to work alongside you, as equals. I…”  


“Okay, before you continue praising my massive brain and how much I’m being held back by my friends. Let me ask you something. If, and we are talking about a massive ‘if´ here, I would agree to be your partner, what would my main assignment be? You have still not told me anything about your actual intention. For someone who talks an awful lot, you don't actually say that much.” Stark walked around his desk, picking up random objects as if to inspect them, seemingly bored with the whole situation. In reality he was very aware of everything around him. He still didn't understand how the god had even gotten in in the first place. But he was more concerned over the way he acted, this careful tip-toeing around made him nervous. Last time had been so much more forward. Loki had made his intentions clear from the start which meant that he had known where he had him, but now… Now it was all just a bundle of question marks. The biggest question of them all being ´could he be trusted.´  


“I can't tell you that. Not until you agree to follow me.” His answer was blank, no emotion behind it, no details that could help Stark decode him.  


“See, I don't like putting my name on something without knowing what I´m signing up for.”  


“I can assure you, Stark, you have nothing to fear. I no longer seek to cause harm to this world of yours.”  


Tony didn't like the direction the conversation was headed. Even though Loki's voice remained strong and cold he could sense desperation in the air. He doubted that the god´s patients would last much longer and he didn't trust the man to take no as an answer. “No offense, but you are an insane, power mad, alien with a huge daddy issue.” He nervously took a glance at the phone he had dropped earlier by the chair. There was no way he would be able to reach it before Loki did. The time was running out and he was getting more and more anxious by the second. “I think I have my reasons to doubt.”  


“I won't force you to do anything you don't want to. And if you at any time feel like leaving, you will be free to do so.” Tony kept the distance between them, not feeling comfortable with having the other man at arm’s length from his person. But when it came down to it, a desk couldn't really do much to protect him. That's why he had to stay calm, stay focused.  


“You know what, this conversation has been very interesting, not very informative, but interesting. But I should probably discuss this with Cap, he is the boss after all.” Before he had even finished the sentence, Loki had rounded the desk and latched on to his shirt. His eyes were burning with anger, the first real emotion Stark had seen on Loki's face since he appeared in his lab. “You are not to call Captain America, is that clear?”  


“I thought I was allowed to do as I pleased?” Tony took a step back in an attempt to free himself from the grip but felt his heart drop when his back hit the wall. He was trapped with nothing to assist him and a fuming Norse god in front of him. Maybe mentioning the avenger wasn't the smartest idea, but he was tired and had wanted the conversation to end as fast as possible. This, however, was not how he had ideally pictured it, with the gods hands wrapped around his throat a second time.  


“What do you think they will do when they find out that you knew about my visit without telling them? Will they still trust you, the big, great Tony Stark?” Loki growled the words through gritted teeth, his frustration prominent in the way he tightened his grip. This wasn't good. Tony had to make a decision, and quick. Was he to comply or decline the offer and hope the god wouldn't smite him there and then? Tony had never been a big team player so why start now. And if he had anything it was pride, pride in his achievements and pride in the freedom that allowed them to happen.  


“I think I will kindly decline. Spring is quite a hectic time, you know. I have all these suits to build, some weapons to upgrade for my pals. And Pepper wan this big house…”  


Loki huffed at the false excuses and grabbed Tony's lover face with one hand, covering up his mouth and stopping him in his rambling. “I really hoped that you would have come with me willingly, but you leave me no choice.”  


Tony could feel his heart speeding up in his chest, feel it hammering against his ribcage. He didn't know what to do. What did Loki mean by those words? He needed to think, but the lack of air in his lungs made his body want to hyperventilate. In pure panic he let go of all logic and tried his best to reach out before it was too late. “JARVIS, call Steve Rog…” Loki smashed Tony´s head against the wall before the full name could escape his lips. With a weak breath he sunk down to the floor, his tired frame propped up against the wall.  


“Sir, could you repeat that? Sir?” The voice of JARVIS echoed through lab, but there were no one to answer his calls. Tony´s attempt at alarming the others had not been successful. Maybe he hadn’t been quick enough, or maybe his words had been too weak. It didn't really matter. Tony could feel an agonizing pain shoot through his scalp as he tried to move but quickly gave in when he saw the blurry outline of Loki getting closer. He knew that he had to stay awake, that he had do keep on fighting, but he was just so tired.  


“I’m truly sorry for this, Stark. I hope you understand the potential of the situation and not let your fear affect your judgement, “Loki spoke, truthfully sorry for his actions. He had whished for the man to turn and follow him by his own accord. That would have made everything so much easier. But he had had no other choice, at least that´s what he told himself to soothe his conscious. And now he would suffer the consequences. At some point, Tony would wake up and he would be angry, afraid and untrusting. And things would most likely turn ugly. Loki had told himself that he wouldn’t resolve to pain, if the situation didn’t deem it absolutely necessary. He was above that, cleverer than that, but he couldn’t afford Stark getting away. Not this early in the stage. Stark would help him, weather he did it out of his own decision or he though he did didn’t really matter. As long as Stark thought what he did was the right thing, he was positive the inventor wouldn’t hesitate to put effort into his work. His greatest weakness was his heart after all. One would think that with an intellect like Stark, he would let his brain make the big decisions, but Tony still let his heart lead the way. Loki would poison that heart, play with it and mold it to his own liking, and he could already feel the rising guilt in his stomach, but his morbid curiosity was stronger. He had admired the man since their encounter in New York, admired his strength and bravery, his ingenuity. And soon, he would know exactly what made the man tick. Every though, every secret. He would fix every flaw, make him perfect.


	4. Chapter 4

The sun was slowing rising behind the tall buildings of California, casting its warm golden light over the otherwise cold, gray city. Its citizens were starting to wake up, the morning breeze breathing in new life. One by one the lights were turned on before the whole town were ablaze with tiny artificial suns. Not quite as impressive as during the nighty hours, but still mesmerizing. Loki was standing by one of the broken windows, breathing in the morning breeze, wrinkling his nose at the amount of pollution in the air. He didn’t quite understand how, or perhaps more importantly why, the human race had managed to destroy a planet that was ones so beautiful. And so quick at that. And how, with all their technology and facts, they still seems to dismiss the pressing problem. He didn’t want to admit it, but he missed Asgard, his home. The beautiful clear skies, the vast fields of florals and the crisp air. He was pulled momentarily from his thoughts by a soft groan. Stark. The man was slowly waking up from his forced sleep, feeling a low pulsing in the back of his head where his skull had made contact with the concrete wall. Loki had prepared himself for this meeting, rehearsed every word he would need to convince the man, but when he finally found himself in front of him he found it hard to grasp the right ones. Was he nervous? Of what? That perhaps he had made a terrible mistake taking him down here before making sure of the man’s stance on the matter?  


“I hope I didn’t hurt you head too badly. It would be a terribly shame to robe someone so brilliant of their brainpower, after all.”  


“I see Reindergame decided to take me out on a date, after all.” He shook his head lightly to get rid of the drowsiness and focused his eyes on the room they were in. Nothing much to notice, except a few wooden crates, plastic bags and decomposing leaves, most likely haven been carried in through the shattered windows with the wind. So he was no longer in his home, that much was clear. His memory of the previous night, or rather early morning, was a bit fuzzy, but he vaguely remembered the burning green eyes of Loki as the god charged at him, his hands gripping him tightly. He could feel his heartbeat speed up as the images flashed before his eyes but quickly pushed the anxious feeling down by taking in slow, deep breaths. “What is this place, anyway? Your super-secret evil headquarter? A bit stereotypical, don’t you think?”  


“I’m aware this place may seem a bit… low, for you, Stark. But we can´t all afford a private mansion by the coast.” It had taken Loki quite some time to find a deserted place in the midst of the busy city, and he had come close to blowing a building up to forcibly create what he was seeking when he stumbled upon this place. It didn’t look like much on the outside, a simple old warehouse, and the inside wasn’t any more impressive. It was exactly what he needed. To find the place had been the greater half of the challenge, keeping it hidden and out of sight from curious civilians, however, had proven to be easier than expected. A simple spell had been enough to keep anyone from stepping their foot on the premises.  


“Well, I’m honored that you went through so much troubled to invite me to your humble lair, but I still stand by my decision. “ Tony made an effort to rise from the chair he had woken up on but found himself unable to. He could feel the rough edges of a rope biting into his wrists as he tested the strength of his restraints. To untie a knot, even if it was behind his back, wasn’t really a challenge, but something in the way Loki looked down in him, like a predator waiting for its pray to start the chase, made him think that the rope binding would be the least of his problems. Tony had been right about the desperation bit. But now when he was closer to his capturer he could see that there were something deeper lurking behind those green eyes. Loki wasn’t just desperate, he was obsessive. And desperation and obsessiveness didn’t blend well, often creating a foul smelling, and even worse tasting, cocktail. “If my head doesn’t mistake me, which is a possibility since you decided to take a swing at it, you promised me that I was free to leave. I don’t know about you, but this doesn’t exactly read as a free passage.” Whatever the formal threat to the planet was planning he didn’t like it. And as he sat there, bound to a chair in an abandoned warehouse out god knows where, he cursed himself for not calling his team mates when he had had the chance to do so. But he refused to let any of his thoughts show, resolving to sarcasm and turning on the charm to hide the nervousness gripping his chest. ´Everything is fine. He hasn’t done anything that you can´t handle,´ he told himself, not letting the god out of his sight, but not feeling comfortable enough to keep their eye contact. But before he could stop the thought from invading his head he heard a low, mocking voice. ´Yet.´  


Loki could sense in the slight trembling of the man’s voice that Stark was done playing his games. Stark had done his upmost to keep his charismatic role, dodging every task asked of him with silly jokes or kind declinations, but even Tony had his limits. But that didn’t really bother him. The games and the chitchat had been fun, but Loki was eager to set the ball in motion. The only thing left for him to do was plant the seed, and watch it grow until it was finally ready to bloom. And then he would be beautiful. Loki drew a deep breath, collecting his thought and finding his focus before advancing on his guest, obediently waiting on his chair. He reached out a hand to touch the back of Starks head, letting his fingers brush over the light swelling caused by his outburst from the previous night. He felt a sting of guilt as he saw the uncomfortableness displayed on Stark´s face. It really was a shame. A dent in the otherwise perfect design. He swallowed the feeling, he couldn’t let himself be affected by those sort of things, and moved his hand to trace the jawline with the tips of his fingers.  


“I don’t know if you noticed it while breaking into my home, but I already have a girlfriend. And I´m totally fine with it, but I’m not so sure she´s down with it…” There it was again. The jokes and the playfulness, perfectly crafted to hide the fear lurking just beneath the surface.  


“Hush. I´m not interested in trivial things like that.” He grabbed the sides of Stark´s face with light hands. His touch more akin to a soft cares rather than the usually rough grip. “I simply wish to show you something.” Before Stark had the chance to comment Loki had leaned in and placed his forehead against his. Tony was quickly pulled out of his surprise as his mind was filled with images of an unknown far off land. At first the imagery looked blurry as if looking through someone else’s glasses, only allowing a few simple shapes of a city to show.  


“Don´t fight it,” Loki whispered, his eyes closed as he concentrated on preserving their connection. In a lack of a way out Tony let his guard down, allowing the images to flow freely into his mind. The previously blurry spots of gold and browns turned into beautiful buildings. The towers and preciously decorates houses reminded him of an old fairy tale, or a sci-fi novel. They seemed so completely different from the skyscrapers and busy street of his own home. Was this the place Thor had spoken so fondly off? Their home, Asgard?  


The scenery changed, taking him from the city to a flourishing garden filled with life and color. Down by a river he could spot the back of a young boy, his raven hair a stark contrast to the greenery around him. Tony was just about to open his mouth when a familiar voice caught his attention. From amongst the threes, dancing slightly in the breeze, he could see the golden locks of a young Thor running towards his little brother.  


“Brother, I have looked for you everywhere.” They young raven boy didn’t show any indication of hearing him as he continued to read his book, slowly flipping through the pages. “Come on, Loki. Let’s go play. Why don’t we hunt together? Or spar?” Thor wined. Loki finally put down his book with a sigh, seemingly irritated by his brother´s presence. “I´m not interested in such brute activities.”  
“But I´m bored, Loki.” Thor planted his butt next to his brother, looking at him with pleading eyes.  


“Fine.” With that, Loki cupped his hands together, creating a sphere, and touching them to his lips. He breathed into his hands and carefully unfolded them, releasing a green shimmering butterfly from his palms. Thor watch the act in awe, his bright eyes shining in astonishment.  


“That´s incredible!” Thor exclaimed. “Again! Please, brother, again!”  


Loki repeated the process, creating a dozen more winged creatures only to release them into the air. Thor sprung from the grass and chased the butterflies, a big smile on his face, all thought of boredom completely forgotten. And in that moment Tony swore that he could spot a faint hint of a smile play on the face of the young god. However, it didn’t last for long.  


The scenery changed a second time. This time Tony found himself in the middle of a big grate hall. He seemed to have stumbled upon some kind of celebration. The halls were filled with people, all wearing fancy clothes and a pleasant smile on their faces. He turned around to see the two brothers perched upon two identical thrones, both decorated with intricate gold details. Thor was smiling and rising his hammer, enjoying himself while chatting with a group of ladies. Loki, however, looked quite uncomfortable, keeping his eyes on the ground. The silvery crown on his head looked like an odd replacement of the horned helmet Tony remembered him wearing during their New Work fight.  


Suddenly, Stark´s vision was filled with a blur of reds and oranges. He could feel an immense heat rise in the room as flames appeared around him. Licking at the decorative thrones and rising to the painted ceiling, its crackling blending with the distressed symphony of people fleeing. But in the midst of the chaos Tony´s eye managed to land on the mix of black and gold amongst the crimson flames. Loki was hugging his brother tightly, wordlessly screaming out as tears fell down his cheeks. Tony, who had just been a spectator of the scenes playing out before him, silently watching, suddenly felt a horrible pain shot through him like electricity. His head felt like it was splitting in two, and the voice that had previously been unheard could be heard loud and clear, shouting inside his head.  


“Stop this…” he whispered between clenched teeth, desperately trying to digest the imagens he had been forced to watch. He tighten his hands into fist and fought against the rope binding him to the chair, the rough fibers leaving angry marks behind on his skin. Around him people were screaming. The flames spread from the hall out through the doors and engulfed the city in flames, black smoke rising and making the air hard to breath. He could see people fall to the ground, feel their pain as they slowly suffocated or burned to death.  


“Stop it!” So much chaos and pain. So much death. He had seen it all before, but not to this degree, and he wished he could wipe away every trace of ever seeing it, but he knew that nothing would be able to. The pain was excruciating, as if he too was burning together with the Asgardians. He could practically smell his own flesh sizzling and burning off his limbs. And just before he thought he couldn’t handle it anymore the scenery change once again. He drew in a shaky breath, feeling relived that the flames seemed to have died down, leaving nothing behind except smoldering piles of aches and empty blackened shells of what used to be a gorgeous city. In the middle of the ruins stood the broken and hurt young king, his raven hair covering his tear stained face. He looked pitiful, standing there lost and weakened, so different from the prideful and strong god Stark had once fought face to face.  


With a painful cry, Loki fell down on his knees. “I´m sorry, brother”, he whispered as he cupped his hands together and dragged a silver dagger, seemingly out of thin air much like with the butterflies. He stayed like that for a while, just staring down at the sharp weapon in his hands as tears rolled down his face, leaving smudged trails in the sot covering his cheeks.  


“Loki?” Tony knew that he couldn’t hear him. It was nothing more than a vision, after all, but he couldn’t ignore the growing anxiety in his chest. The fires had been a terrifying experience, but somehow this calm and quiet scene scared him more. He could feel a tension in the air, as if the land itself was fearing what was to come. Tony could feel his heart sped up as he saw the raised dagger glimmer in the evening sun.  


“Please, forgive me.” With a finale breath Loki plunged the dagger into his chest and looked up at the sky as crimson flowers bloomed on his light skin.  


Tony didn’t even know he was screaming until he recognized the awful sound as his own voice. The second the dagger had perched Loki´s flesh, Tony had felt his own heart stop. The pain he felt was worse than anything he had ever experience before and he could feel the air escape him as a strange wetness ran down his chest. Blood. He was covered in his own blood as if he too had been stabbed in the heart. He wanted to cry out, to beg someone to help him, but the words got caught in his throat, replaced with a disgusting gurgling sound.  


Just as abruptly as the visions had appeared they disappeared, leaving Tony gasping for air as if he had finally reached the surface after being suppressed under water for a long period of time. He closed his eyes and shuddered at the still lingering memories behind his eyelids. “What was that?” It had all felt so incredible real, like he had actually been standing on the strange land as he watch it break down in front of him. And he had watch one of his friends die in the arms of man he once called villain, but now… now he wasn’t so sure anymore. The fact that Loki had almost successfully ended his home planet was still standing, but maybe the god wasn’t as cold as Tony had originally thought.  


“Your mission.”  


“What?” Tony breathed out, not quite catching on. What did he mean? “Do you want me to destroy Asgard? The land of gods and warriors?” he asked hesitantly.  


Loki knelt in front of him, lowering himself to eye-level with the avenger. “I want you to save it.”  


“First of all, if all you wanted from me was a helping hand, why didn’t you just ask for it instead of doing all this shit? Secondly, what do you think I can do? I’m just a mechanic with a slightly above average IQ.” Tony was starting to grow annoyed over the god´s complicated way of approaching situations, the fear and anxiety nothing more than a low humming in the back of his head. He tugged at the binding, feeling his shoulder getting sore from being in such a straining position. “And thirdly, untie me from this fucking chair.”  


Loki quickly rose from the floor, feeling a bit taken back from the unexpected response. Sure, Stark still hadn’t given him his promise, but Loki had expected the man to show a bit more anger, or disgust, after the experience he had forced upon him. Maybe his efforts would prove to be successful after all?  


“Come on, it´s not like I´m going to take off as soon as you let your guard down.”  


Knowing Tony, Loki wasn’t sure he could trust the man’s words. The sarcasm, clear in his voice, made it seem like a joke, but Loki knew that there was a possibility that the man would indeed run of if he was given the opportunity. But he needed Stark to trust him. And he had made a promise, after all.  


“I was given the impression that you wouldn’t listen to me unless I made the seriousness of the matter clear. If I hadn’t interfered your friends would have taken me away, and possibly killed me, before I got the chance to talk to you.” With a swift motion of his hands, the rope untied themselves and fell to the floor in a heap. Tony retrieved his hands from his back and rubbed the sore skin were the rope had left red marks. Tired of staying seated, Tony rose from the chair and started pacing around the room. “Fair point. Not sure if it was worth getting a concussion for. “He rubbed the back of his head, running his fingers over the small bump that had formed as a result of the impact. “ One question still remain, though. Why me, exactly. I mean, don’t take me wrong, I´m flatter and all that you think so highly of me. “He kicked an empty can, watching it roll on the ground. “Even if your obsessiveness is a bit creepy,” Tony mumbled under his breath. “You could have chosen anyone, why me. Why not your brother?”  


“Thor refuses to listen to me.” Loki followed his lead and started his walk around the room. Like a tense dance they moved in a circle, each keeping eye contact with the man on the opposite side.  


“Then why not Cap? He is the poster boy of the team, after all.”  


“It´s true that Rogers do possess many great skills, but what he have in strength he lacks in imagination and intelligence.”  


“Fine, Banner than?”  


“I though you lost track of the beast.”  


“Na, Banner is fine, He´s probably just on a vacation in Thailand or sipping margaritas on a beach somewhere.” It was true that they hadn’t been able to contact the scientist since the Sokovia incident, but he couldn’t afford do think too deeply about it in the moment. He had far more pressing matters to focus on, and he simply had to convince himself that his friend was well and good, wherever he may be.  


“My brother, Rogers, and Banner are all fine fighters, but it´s not strength I seek.”  


“Ah, I see, that´s why you picked me. I’m the only fish left in the bowl. If you don’t count Clint and Nat, of course. But I doubt neither one of them would be very keen to talk to you, any less help you.”  


“I chose you because I need you to build me something. I’m not strong enough to protect them on my own, but I believe, if we combine our strength, we may have a chance.” Tony stopped dead in his tracks. This didn’t bod well. Every time he had been asked to build something for someone else it always ended up in the wrongs hands and thus caused his inventions to once again be the cause of pain and destruction, something he had promised himself would never happen again. Not if he had the power to stop it. “I’m Sorry. But I don´t do commission work anymore.”  


“I have heard many words being used to describe you, Stark, but I didn’t think selfish was one of them.” Loki walked up to him, still fixing his mahogany eyes with his green ones.  


“Then you must have been living under a rock. `Selfish’ is probably one of the nicer words that have been used to describe me. Even Cap thought it was a fitting word to use.” Tony turned his back against the god. This was way out of his league. He was just a man in a can. A rather brilliant man, at least according to his colleges and his friends, but still just a man. He couldn’t fight like Rogers or control thunder like Thor. He wasn’t a trained superspy like Clint or Natasha and he certainly couldn’t turn into a green rage monster on command like Banner. He had announce himself as Iron Man, making himself look like a savior rather than a destroyer, but it was all just a cover to distract from the painful truth. It was all just a necessity, a desperate attempt to escape a rough situation. He wasn’t a hero, he had never been. Tony was just a man who happened to have invited something that proved to be helpful in protecting people, if he hadn’t done it surely someone else hold have invented it eventually. He had tried to be more than he was and that had left him bruised and broken, and he wasn’t sure he could take another hit like that. So he took the easy way out, the cowardly way.  


“But that isn’t true is it`? You care more than you want people to believe. It´s your greatest strength, but it´s also your greatest weakness.”  


The voices screaming out in pain as the flames rose high had been so vivid in his head, but in the end it had just been a vision, nothing more than a nightmare. He had to tell himself that there were nothing he could do, that none of it was real. And based on Loki´s previous behavior there where no way of conforming the facts. But his pleading eyes had seems so genuine. Why would the god willingly make himself vulnerable in front of him if it wasn’t true? `This is Asgard. An alien place, god knows how far away from earth,´ he had to tell himself. ´My priority is to protect the earth. I can’t risk something like this.´  


“I’m sorry, Loki.” He walked away, trying to shut out the voices in his head, pleading for him to save them.  


“I´m sorry too,” Loki whispered with a light flick of his wrist. Stark may not have acted the way he was expected to, but Loki was still smirking at Tony´s back as the man left the building. This game would prove to be a lot more fun than Loki had dared to hope.


	5. Chapter 5

“Tony?”  


Tony felt dizzy. Maybe he was getting sick. He knew he should have listened to Pepper about the virus going around. Or maybe he was hungover. It wouldn’t be the first time.  


“Stark!” He felt firm hands grip his shoulders and shake him. His eyes tried to focus but he could only catch blotches of blond and blue.  


“Cap?” He whispered . His voice sounded gruff and felt wrong in his throat, like it was scratching its way out.  


“Damn it, Stark. Don´t tell me you've been drinking again.” He leaned in close and gripped Tony´s shin, sniffing the man's breath. “God, you reek of alcohol. Unbelievable.” Steve dragged his hand over his face and let out a deep sigh, trying to calm his nerves.  Tony didn’t feel drunk, and he couldn’t recall even having one drink. He couldn’t even remember getting into the room to be honest. Maybe he was drunk after all. But why was Rogers being so rough with him? Steve had caught him drunk many times before, but this time was different.  


“Can you remind us again why you are such an important asset to this team? Fury seem to think you are a valuable piece, but I’m starting to doubt his decision to keep you."  


“I…” Tony was trying to speak, to defend himself but the words got caught in his throat. This was not the first time the great captain America had spoken to him in such manner, blaming him and questioning his position. But something didn’t feel right. Something in his eyes weren’t right. Those ocean blue eyes seemed duller, not quite focused. And his voice and demeanor. It was all so rough and sharp.  Truth be told it was scaring him.  


“What have you been doing these past months? While we were out doing our job, you were spending your nights at the local bars getting wasted and hanging out at your beach house.” Steve looked down on him like a hungry wolf, enjoying the look of utter shock on Tony´s face. What was happening? Why was he so upset?  


“Captain.” Nat´s voice warned. She was leaning against the far wall, watching the scene play out in front of her. She didn’t care about the dispute between the two, but they had bigger problems to worry about at the moment.  


“Are the lives of the people you failed to save really that easy to forget? Or maybe that’s why you drink yourself stupid. If you’re not strong enough to handle it, maybe you should just quit the team. I´m sure we can manage on our own.”  


“Steve, that's enough!”  


Tony didn’t know what was going on. Everything seemed foggy, like the world in front of him was out of focus. He tried to grasp something solid to ground himself, but everything around him seemed to reject him. “What's happening?” He asked, voice unsteady as he tried to rise from the chair. His legs felt unsteady and he couldn’t seem to find the strength to hold himself up.  


“Sit down!” Steve grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pushed him back down into the uncomfortable office chair. His eyes flashing with fiery anger. “I can´t believe you even dared to show up in this condition.” He kept his voice low to escape Natasha’s harsh eyes, but Tony had heard every word loud and clear. They cut through the haze and buried themselves into his aching chest. He felt sick.  


“There´s apparently a small unknown group who has decided to play a game of hide and seek in the underground tunnels. They are threatening to blow up the city if we don’t give them what they want.” Clint appeared from behind Natasha, holding a cup of coffee in his hand as he took a seat by the long table. While everyone was looking stressed about the situation, Clint was nonchalantly sipping his coffee while putting his feet up on the table, seeming more annoyed than anything else.  


“What do they want? Money? Weaponry?”  Tony gesticulated wildly with his hands as he rambled on, not quite getting a grasp on the situation, but trying to show interest in order to please Rogers who were fixing him with his gaze.  


“Yeah, if things were that easy we wouldn’t have been called,” Clint sad with a sarcastic laugh.  


“Us.” Natasha cut in. “They want one of us.”  


“What do you mean?” Everything was moving too fast. The information was too fast and sudden for him to process. This wasn’t like him. Nothing about the situation felt like it should. Steve was too strict and hard, his sympathy and innocents nowhere to be seen. Nat was too cold in the way she looked at them, especially at Tony. He knew that the former spy wasn’t particularly fond of him, but she always had a kindness about her. Even Clint was acting too much like a slacker.  It was almost like someone had taken the key characteristics of his teammates and dialed them up to one hundred, everyone exact for himself. In fact, it seemed to have the opposite effect on him. Making his highly intelligent brain move in slow-motion.  


“They want to make a trade. It´s easy, really. They have offered to spill the locations of the bombs, in exchange they want us to deliver an avenger, neatly tied up with a bow on top, to their doorstep.”  Steve walked around Tony and placed his arms on the back of the chair, leaning in close to his person. “And we have already made our decision.”  


Tony´s heart skipped a beat at the cold voice whispered into his ear. They couldn’t be serious. Could they? “You want to throw me to the wolves?”  


“Sorry, Tones. But we already voted and it seems like you drew the shortest straw,” Clint answered, still drinking from his mug.  


“Do I not have any say in the decision?” Tony was starting to panic. He wanted to believe that it was all just a set-up, some grand joke, but deep down he could see in their faces that they were serious about the whole situation. They had really made a decision and deemed him the least important member of the group, the weakest link, replaceable.  


“I´m afraid it was your own fault, pal, for not showing up to the meeting.”  


“But this is idiotic,” Tony stammered, trying his best to see the logic in the situation. “We have fought enemies stronger than this. We took down a God. And last year we were literally fighting an army of robots on a flying island. Taking down a little terror group should be no biggie.”    


“But we don’t need to take them down. I say, why not just give them what they want and that would be the end of the problem.” Tony could feel Steve breathing down his neck, sending chills down his spine. It reminded him of a predator waiting to jump on its pray.  


“And what makes you think that I would willingly let myself be handed over to some thugs?  


“I´m afraid you don’t really have a choice in the matter.”  


  One of the hands that had previously gripped the back of Tony´s chair suddenly found a fistful of chestnut hair and pulled his head backwards.  


“This isn’t right. You aren’t thinking this through!”  


“Shut up , you old drunk,” Steve barked with a tug of his hair.  The anxiety was tightening in his chest, making it hard to breathe. Where they seriously just going to throw him out, and all because a small little band of pity criminals had told them to?  Tony reached out his arm in an attempt at calling out one of his suits, but were immediately met with a harsh slap to the face.  


“Not a very wise move, Tony.”  He hadn’t even noticed Clint leaving his chair beside Nat, but he was quickly forced to acknowledge his presence when one of his arrows cut through his flesh, destroying the microchip he had implanted in the process.   Tony gritted his teeth in pain as the strong sent of iron reached his nose. He knew he could be a real pain in the ass sometimes, and that he rarely followed orders, but did he really deserve to be treated this way? To be attacked by his own friends?  


“Let go of me,” Tony hissed as he tried to pull the foreign object out of his arm with his free hand. The arrowhead cut deeper into his flesh as he tried to remove it, causing a steady stream of crimson to run down his wrist. He had tried to stay calm, not so much for his teammates but rather for his own safety, but his facade was starting to slip.  He was hurt, scared, and his heart was raising in his chest. When he felt Steve´s rough arm wrap around his chest he lost the little control he had left, thrashing wildly in his chair as he tried to get away. “Let go of me!” He didn’t care about keeping up his usual character, his reasoning had proven to do him no good. Flashbacks of his experience in Afghanistan seeped into his mind and made it harder to maintain his logical thinking and calmness.  


“Nat, get the sedative.” Steve barked as he held down the flailing man with one arm and tugging Tony´s head to the side, exposing his neck.  


Natasha, who had supervised the situation from her position by the table had risen and made her way across the room, her face cold and absent of all emotion. The archers was once again seated comfortable in his desk chair, feet rested on the wooden furniture as he watched the struggle. Everything was happening too fast. One moment Tony was fighting the soldier’s hold on him and the next he felt a sting in his neck as the tip of a syringe punctured his skin. He could feel a strange numbing spread through his veins and making his head feel heavy. The grip on his person was removed but he felt too sluggish to even attempt to rise from the chair.  He knew what he needed to do, the instinct to get away was still strong in him, but his body was betraying him, refusing to move.  


“Steve…,” he breathed out as his head fell to his chest. “Please don’t do this.” As the words left his mouth it felt like a light went out and he found himself in complete darkness, frightened and anxious but helplessly weak.  The voices he had once trusted with his life slowly died out before leaving him in complete silence.  


	6. Chapter 6

Tony opened his eyes. His body felt like a heavy pile of bricks and his brain was still a bit sluggish. Like a lagging computer, not quite able to process any information.  But that didn’t keep him from trying.  


“Steve?” he called out in a dry voice, his throat feeling itchy from the lack of moisture. When his call received no answer, he propped himself up on one elbow. “Clint? Nat?” He vaguely remembered how his teammates had turned on him, yelled at him and thrown him out like he was nothing. Just a broken part of a machine that needed to be replaced. ´You are nothing more than a useful tool for the avengers to use as they please.´ Loki’s voice crept into his conscious, repeating the words Tony had refused to listen to. ´When they no longer have any use of you, they will not hesitate to throw you away. ´  


“Anybody!?” Still nothing, the only answer he received was the low echo of his own voice as it bounced against the bare walls.  Maybe it was for the best. The avengers had decided to trade him for the safety of the people, and he could tell from their expressions they would not be back to save him. And anyone one else would most likely only mean trouble. If he was left alone, he could maybe find a way out on his own. It wouldn’t be the first time after all.  
 

Tony rose on shaky legs and placed a weak arm against the wall to stabilize his balance.  The action sent a bolt of fire through his veins as he put pressure on his injured arm.  He swore under his breath as he hugged the limb to his chest. Clint would definitely get scolded for his actions when all of this was over. Tony paused for a moment. The decision had been cruel and not theirs to make, but Tony wanted to believe they had their reasons for acting the way they had. Maybe they had faith in him, believing he was the only one clever enough to escape from the group and defeat them from inside. Or maybe… He didn’t want to think about the other option. That the malicious god had been telling the truth about his comrades.  


He put all thoughts aside and focused on the more pressing matter- to find a way out. To question his teammates about their moral compass could be done later. Tony made his way over to the door and ran his hands over the handle and the lock hoping to find a weak point. As he expected the handle refused to budge, and the lock didn’t give him much more hope either. If he had had access to some of his tools, he may have been able to pick it, but dressed only in his usual clothes and with his microchip destroyed he didn’t have much to work with.  But it was too early to give up. To leave their captive alone in a locked room was nothing less Tony had expected of a small group of thugs. The question was wheatear not they had underestimated his creativity.  He took a few steps backwards, placing himself in the middle of the room and turned in a circle, taking in the entirety of the small room.  White walls. White floor. A single light on the roof casting a bright white light on the room. No windows. Just a simple door with a lock. The room was so clean, a bit too clean for Tony’s liking. It felt frightening in a way. Even though Tony was the only one present, he felt like he had no control over the space, like a mouse stuck in a trap just waiting for it to snap him in two.  He had unconsciously started to fidget with the hem of his shirt, but immediately stopped when he caught himself in the action. ´I’m okay. No need to worry´, he told himself as he took in slow breaths. ´Not yet at least.´ Seeing that the delinquents hadn’t bothered to provide him with anything useful, he didn’t feel much confidence.  He could always sit around and wait for someone to arrive and hopefully let him out, but he still didn’t have a clear view on who, or what, he was dealing with.  Rogers hadn’t given him much information about the group, or maybe he was just too shaken up from the shock to remember any of it. Regardless, Tony didn’t like the idea of just staying put, waiting for other people to decide his faith. With no other options presented he threw himself against the door, hoping that the impact would be enough to cause some damage. The smooth metal creaked under the weight but stayed unharmed in its hinges.  After a few hits he was forced to stop when he could feel the trickle of crimson from the still open wound in his arm. ´Shit, ´ he cursed under his breath as he sunk down to the ground, his back pressed against the wall. His main priority was to find a way out, but he still needed to do something about his arm. Even if he did manage to get out he wouldn’t be able to get very far with an injured limb. If the group had been so insistent on getting their hands on an avenger they would probable not let him go without a fight.  But he wasn’t interested in staying and find out exactly what their intentions was.   


Tony took of his suit jacket and pulled at the fabric. The fabric was tougher than he had hoped but it eventually gave in and he was successful in tearing away a strip.  He then took the strip of gray and bound it around his arm, cutting of the blood flow, and tied a knot with the help of his teeth. What ever happened to him he would at least not bleed to death. It didn’t make him feel any better, but at least it dulled the pain. Now he only needed to find a way out. The tough of picking the lock had popped up in his mind as a reasonable suggestion, but with what? His shoelaces? Would that even work? Probably not.    


His mind was running wild inside his head, and he was growing more frustrated as the boredom dawn on him. Tony was just about to rise from the floor and challenge the door to a second round when the creaking of the metal door pulled him from his thoughts.  


“Finally, the lack of stimulation was about to drive me insane. Couldn’t you have at least provided me with a Rubik’s cube or something,” Tony complained as he starred up at the young man entering his room.  


“Don´t underestimate us. We read the news. We know who you are, Mr. Stark. And we both know providing you with even the tiniest and mundane objects would work against our favor.”  


“Well, you could have at least giving me a magazine to read.”  


The man walked up to Tony where he was seated on the floor and grabbed his chin. “I don’t know what your so called pals told you, but we didn’t bring you here for your next vacation,” he snarled down at him and tightened his grip painfully on Tony´s chin.  


“Then why the fuck did you bring me here?”  


“We had hoped for Steve Rogers, seeing he is the strongest one of the bunch, but I guess the inventor with a cash fond to dream of isn’t too bad either.” He let go of Tony´s face and crouched down in front of him. “You built that superhero suit after all. Who knows what more brilliant ideas you have stored inside that head of yours?”  


“As if I would build anything for a group of prepubescent teens who threatened to blow up the city.” His comment earned him a harsh slap to the face, causing him to look up in surprise. He had not seen that coming at all, which only made the blow sting more.  The hand that had struck him moments earlier found itself on his chest, tracing the outlines of the arc reactor trough his shirt.  


“I’ve also heard you proudly declare yourself a playboy. I can’t say I have much interest in older men, but experience makes us wiser, don’t you agree?” He couldn’t say he did. Tony didn’t know what the boy was thinking, but he disliked the hungry gaze in his eyes. The boy had broken their eye contact and was staring at his body as he let his hand slide down Tony’s stomach. When it reached below his waist Tony decided that he had had enough of the boy’s game. Sure, they had captured him and kept him locked up, but that didn’t mean he would just roll over and do as he was told. And he would certainly not let a young criminal, with messy hair and dirty cloths toy with him.  


“Fuck off.”  


The hand that had been so caring and calm wrapped itself around his neck, making it hard to breathe, as the boy smirked at him. “You will make yourself useful to us. One way or another. It’s your choice, really. You can either be cooperative by choice or you can make this harder for yourself. “The boy let go of Tony and rose to his full height. He expected another snarky comment from the man below him, but when he didn’t receive one he turned on his heels and walked out through the door. Before the metal door closed Tony could hear the boy’s voice taunt him. “I will tell you though. It can become awfully cold and lonely down here.”   


Tony didn’t know who he wanted to beat up more- the young vulgar man who had touched him inappropriately, or Rogers for trapping him in this situation in the first place. He was once again left alone in the room. In frustration he leaned his head back against the wall carelessly, flinching when the bump in his scalp made itself reminded. He let out a deep sigh as he ran his hands through his hands through his tousled hair. “I’m sorry, Pepper. It seems like I won’t be coming home tonight,” he whispered to himself as he curled up on the floor. The panic he had tried to avoid was slowing creeping up on him and it was almost impossible to ignore the intrusive thoughts. `Big man in a suit of armor. Take that of what are you? ´ The captain’s voice echoed inside his head, twisted, demonic almost as it laughed and mocked him. ´You are the weakest link. You always were. ` That time, Tony had responded with pride, but deep down he had always feared the answer to that question. It was easy to brag when he was just an arm’s length from his iron armor after all. But now, now he wasn’t so sure anymore. Maybe Rogers had been right all along. Without his fancy toys and the guidance of his AI he was just a man. Nothing more than a few cheap tricks and a charismatic smile.   


The room was zooming in and out of focus as he hyperventilated. The silence of the empty room seemed deafening as the walls moved closer. He closed his eyes as he gasped for air. ´Weak. ´ ´God for nothing. ´ ´Pathetic. ´ The voices grew louder, meaner, as his anxiety acted up. He could feel his chest ache, right where the arc reactor connected with his skin. A cruel reminder of the destiny his past decision had earned him.  


“Let me out,” he whispered through gritted teeth.  He wanted to get as far away from the room as possible. Where wasn’t important. As long as he got out he didn’t care about the consequences. In desperation he got up from the floor and banged his fist agasint the door. He didn’t know why he had thought it was a good idea. He wasn’t sure he was thinking at all. The loudness of his fist against the metal would certainly call the attention of his captives, which, most likely, wasn’t a great thing, but Tony didn’t care. As long as he got out he didn’t care who it was who answered his calls. “Let me out!”  


As he had predicted it didn’t take long before footsteps could be heard from the other side of the door. A part of Tony´s brain had registered the sound, but the rest of it told him to keep hitting the cold surface. The door suddenly swung open, allowing a rough looking man to enter the room.  


“Shut the fuck up!” His open hand connected with the side of Tony´s face, sending him flying to the floor. “I knew you were a diva, but throwing a fit, really? God, you are annoying.”  


Tony looked up at the man with terrified eyes. He didn’t know what he had expected, and he couldn’t believe himself for thinking it, but he actually preferred the young kid over this brute. The boy had at least not barked at him, and his slap hadn’t been nearly as painful. The side of his face felt hot and flushed when he touched it.  


“Get up,” the man commanded as he kicked Tony’s legs, urging him to hurry. When his words didn’t spark any action, he grabbed hold of his collar and roughly pulled him up. “I said ´get up´.”  


“And I said ´let me out´,” Tony hissed.  The panic was still very much present in his mind, but the surprise had forced his instincts to kick in. He may not have his suits, but Tony Stark was still more than capable of handling a bad guy on his own.  His leg connected with the man’s knee in a harsh kick, and as soon as the grip on his person loosened he took his chance to escape. As the man doubled over from his knees giving in Tony pushed passed him and sprinted down the hallway. He didn’t know where he was going. Hell, he didn’t even know where he was, but that wasn’t important.  His one, and only priority was to get out and get as far away from the building as he possibly could. Everything that happened after that was a problem for his future self and not something he could afford to think about at the moment.   


“Get him! Don’t let Stark get away!” Heavy footsteps and angry shouting could be heard in the corridor behind him, nothing more than a steady beat to accompany the loud beating of his heart. He was purely running on adrenaline, fogging his mind and dulling the aching of his weakened body.  


´Just keep running. Don’t even look back. Just… run. ´ He reached the end of the hall and rounded the corner, but was abruptly stopped in his tracks.  


“I see the little bunny managed to escape its cage. Was our hospitality not good enough for you?” The young boy from before grinned at him as he crossed his arms over his chest.  


“Shit.”  He cursed himself for not paying more attention to his surroundings. The shouting and disturbance probably attracted the attention of the whole group, and god knew how many of them there were out there. Tony made a sharp turn in an attempt at getting away but were quickly met with the end of a stun gun.  


“Gotcha.”  He let out a painful cry as the electricity coursed through him.  With a weak exhale of breath he collapsed into the open arms of the man who had chased him down the corridor.  


“I guess he made his decision, then,” the boy said in amusement as he leaned in to brush away a strain of dark hair from Tony´s forehead. “ I believe we won’t be getting our suits after all.” 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter, guys. These past days has been quite rough, and I have simply not had the same motivation to write. But I will try my hardest to catchup on my writing and hopefully the next sets of chapters will be a bit longer.

  “Bastards…” Tony was growing sick of being slapped around and forced unconscious. He had struggled with insomnia, but this was not what he had meant when he had prayed for a solution. He could still feel a faint tingle in his body from the shock, but he could feel another sensation too. Coldness. When he attempted to rise up he felt a restriction of his moments.  Both his arms and legs were held in place by cuffs at the sides of a surgical table. He relaxed his hands and touched the smooth metal surface with his fingertips. ´Great. Just great. ´  


 “I see sleeping beauty has finally decided to join the fun.” The crude young man was standing by his side, looking down at him with a smug grin on his lips.  
 

 “If you wanted to take me to bed, all you had to do was ask.” Tony didn’t feel comfortable in the role of forced submission, but he also knew he had no other choice than to play along. Throwing tantrums and acting irrational would not make the situation better, and it would certainly not help him escape. Before he found a way out, he had to just keep calm and focused.  


 “Well, asking just seemed like a waste of time, seeing that your consent isn’t exactly of importance to us.”  


 “Figured as much. Would have been nice though to have had the illusion of a choice.”  


 “Speaking of choices. I already gave you the opportunity to choose. And you made that choice very clear to us when you decide to run off. Didn’t do you much good, now did it? It was quite fun watching you try though. I give you that.”  


 Tony tried to focus his thoughts. A decision. He could recall an order disguised as a question being asked of him.  His answer was however a bit fuzzier.  The conversation had only been his social skills running on autopilot while his thoughts were else were. All his attention had been on the door. Whether not he agreed to any term or suggestions wasn’t important. He had already made a promise, and he wasn’t about to break it because some youngster threaten him. But he was concerned at the man’s statement. He didn’t know how the boy interpreted his actions, but he was positive he wouldn’t like it.   


 “It really is a shame. We could have had so much fun together.”  His eyes looked distant as if he was brooding over something. Tony wasn’t even sure the words were directed towards him but thought it wise not to ask. “I hoped for Captain America. I’m a big fan, you see. And Hawkeye would have been great too. The both of them would have been good assets to the team.” He let his fingers trail along the corners of the table as he walked around it. “And don’t even start me with Black Widow. It was a long time any of us hung out with a lady. That would have been nice.” He stopped as he reached Tony´s side, looking down at him with disappointment clear in his eyes. “But instead we got stuck with you.”  


 “I’m sorry to disappoint you.”  


 “Don’t be. I will make sure you’ll leave something behind worth remembering.” The boy leaned in to unbutton Tony´s shirt, exposing his skin to the chill air. He could think about a dozen different ways for the situation to play out, but he didn’t want to think about any of them in great detail.   


 “If it’s money you want, or tech, I’m sure we could figure something out,” he breathed out as the boy turned his back against him.   


 “Oh, I think we both know, Mr. Stark, that you have something far more valuable than money or robots.”  


 Tony wasn’t sure he understood what the young man was referencing.  When he first heard about the group he had presumed that they wanted weaponry or technology to play around with, or at least some money for the trouble, but that didn’t seem to be enough. At least not anymore.   


 The boy returned to the table, a scalpel in his hand and a sinister smile on his face. “This thing right here. The arch reactor.” He tapped the glowing reactor with a finger. “That’s what’s powering the iron man suit, correct?”   


 “It’s actually just a really cool nightlight. It’s embarrassing to admit, but I’m awfully afraid of the dark.” The boy wasn’t an idiot. Tony knew that, but he also knew he needed to distract him long enough to figure out his next course of action.   


 “Very funny. I know you are one for the theatrical, but that’s just ridiculous.” He loomed over Tony’s face, scalpel in a secure grip. “I may not look like it, Mr. Stark, but I’m not as big of an idiot as you hope I am.” The surgical knife come down in fast swop and left a clean, barely noticeable, cut behind on his cheek. Tony knew the intentions had been to threaten him rather than hurting him, but the cut still stung, and he could feel a trickle of blood run down the side of his face and down to his neck. The man placed the knife at the base of his neck and lightly dragged the blade downwards, only grazing the skin, until metal met metal.  


 “If this thing’s just a light, I figure you won’t miss it too much.”  


 “It was rather expensive, and the doctor smelled funny. I would just rather not go through the whole procedure again.” Of course it was all lies, and Tony knew the boy could see through all of them. But he needed to buy more time.  


 “Oh, that won’t be a concern of yours when I’m done. I know how to cut open things, but I never said I was good at patching them back together again.”  


 Tony let out a shaky breath at his comment. The seriousness of the situation finally downed on him. They didn’t need him alive. Didn’t even care if he was alive. They were only interested in his abilities, and if they couldn’t ask for it, they would take it by force.  


 “Killing me would be a big mistake, buddy.”  


 “I think I can live with it.” He pressed down with the scalpel until the blade pierced the first layer of skin. Tony’s breath hitched as he felt the knife scrape along the edges of the arch-reactor, digging deeper and deeper into his chest. The pain was unlike anything he had ever experienced before, and it threatened to drag him right back into the dark cave in Afghan.  


 “Get away from me!” he gasped out as he trashed around in his bindings. The situation didn’t look good, but he refused to just give in. He had people who relayed on him. People who needed him.   


 “Shut up!”  


 Tony could only vaguely hear the other man’s voice as he felt the intrusive object dig into his chest. This was beyond torture. This was intimate. Personal. He was forced the watch as the very thing that kept him alive was forcibly ripped from him. And he was scared. Scared of what would happen when the magnet was removed and the remaining shrapnel entered his heart. Scared of what his invention was capable of in the wrong hands. Scared to be left alone with a manic kid. But he kept on fighting. He tried to pull his hands free and turn his body away, but the restrains didn’t grant him much movement.  


 Pride had played a vital part in his life, and he had tried his upmost to keep up the impenetrable facade. But pride and dignity didn’t matter anymore. He cried out in desperation as the pain became unbearable. An image of a smiling and happy Pepper Potts appeared in his mind. He didn’t care about himself anymore. The possibility of losing his life during a mission was something he had embraced and accepted a long time ago, but his heart broke when he thought about Pepper. How many times had she warned him about the dangers? Begging him not to go, or to be more careful? And how many times had he acted selfishly and ignored her words?  


 “Tsk.” The boy retrieved his hands momentarily to grasp something from underneath the table. “You really are no fun at all,” he sighed as he placed a mask over Tony’s face, strapping it in place behind his head.  


 Tony didn’t need an explanation to understand what the boy was planning to do to him, and somehow it scared him even more. Being awake he would still have the ability to know exactly what was being done to him. Being unconscious meant a whole different kind of horror.        


 “Hush now. Take deep breaths and count backwards from ten.” The young man was smiling. As if he believed what he was offering Tony was mercy. Tony knew it would all go away if he just relaxed and let the anesthetic affect him.  The pain. The fear. It would all disappear and he wouldn’t have to suffer through it anymore. But it was a gift he couldn’t accept. So he held his breath. But when the sharp pain of the scalper returned, he couldn’t help a gasp from escaping his mouth.   


 The table. The bright lights. The mask. It was all too much. Memories he had tried to repress slowly emerged on the surface of his conscious. The panic was gripping his chest and forced him to breathe in with short, frightful, gasps. He knew hyperventilation would only speed up the effect, but he couldn’t calm down. The world around him seemed to become fuzzier, lighter. And somehow less important. It was hard to focus. His head felt heavy and so did his body. Tony was still vaguely aware of the harm being inflicted on him, but the pain was no more than a numbness.  


 ´This is it, ´he thought as his mind tried to grasp onto reality and keep him conscious. ´Pepper, please, forgive me for not listening.´ As his head lolled to the side, a lock of raven hair flashed before his eyes.  He could hear the panic yelling of the boy as the figure neared him. Tony tried to focus his attention on the newcomer, but he had inhaled enough of the gas to rent himself unconscious.  


 “Loki?” He closed his eyes as the heaviness overcame him.       


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. I’m trying to get back into a regular schedule, but writing has been slow. I will also be busy with work these next three weeks so I don’t know when the next chapter will be out. I´m also planning to participate in NaNoWriMo this year so a lot of my time goes into my own original story, but I will do my best to keep the story rolling.  
> And thank you for reading and showing a interest by leaving a comment.

Tony gasped for air as he was pulled back to reality. The awful feeling of drowning, of suffocation, swept over him. Dark strains of hair clung to his forehead. Tony frantically touched his chest in a panic as the images of earlier events crashed over him. He let out a relieved breath as his fingertips graced the metal. The arch reactor was still there, intact and perfectly functional. It hurt. But it was still there. Tony couldn’t recall ever feeling more comforted to see the glowing light on his chest. However, he was still not sure whether not he should stay allured or be relaxed. He was shaking. The memories of the crazed child cutting deeper into him as he grinned down at him taunted his mind and made it hard to breath. The anxiety from earlier had drained him of his energy, and the drug induced sleep hadn’t done much to restore his health. He felt exhausted. Frightened. Confused. He couldn’t understand how things could have escalated so fast. How things could have turned so grim. He just wanted to go home.  


He was startled out of his dark thoughts as a pair of hands gently touched his face. “Tony, can you hear me? You have to calm down.”  


Every fiber in Tony´s body screamed at him to get away. To not trust the villainous intentions disguised as gentle touches.  


“Don´t touch me.” His breathless voice didn’t hold much confidents behind it, but it didn’t really matter. Loki didn’t want to upset the man further, but he knew what he needed to do.  


“Tony, you need to breathe. Take a deep breath.” He moved his hands down to Tony´s shoulders. Keeping a secure enough grip to keep him seated but not firm enough to make the action seem forced. Loki feared that Tony might give himself a heart attack if he didn’t calm down soon.  


To his relief, his voice seemed to have been able to break through Tony´s panic as he was trying to slow down his breathing. He tried to hold his breath for a few seconds at the time to stop himself from hyperventilating, and the shaking was gradually becoming less and less noticeable.  


“That’s it, Tony. Just keep breathing.” Loki knew that what he had done was cruel. Tony was clearly exhausted and distraught from being trapped in the illusion created by the god, but it was too late to give in to sympathy. Telling the man would only fuel his fear and confusion, making it impossible for Loki to move forward. Broken pieces and artificial memories. This was something Loki could work with. After all, it is a lot easier to reprogram something than to create something new out of nothing.  


“I couldn’t do anything… as they… they would have killed me.” He wrapped his arms around his torso as he stammered out the words. “Without my tools, my suits… I-I didn’t know what to do.”  


Loki gently grabbed Tony´s chin and lifted his head to lock eyes. “Hush now. You did beautifully. It was cruel of the avengers to send you there, knowing that there was nothing you could have done to save yourself.”  


“My suit… They destroyed the chip. I was supposed to be able to… but then I couldn’t.”  


“It´s fine. I took care of it. The only thing you need to focus on right now is to breathe.”  


In the panic of his awakening, Tony´s mind and body had acted out of instinct. Telling him that he should feel pain and soreness based on the memories of his encounter with the group. But now, when he was finally regaining some control he was surprised at the lack of hurt. His arm, neatly wrapped up with a clean dressing felt fine, as if the arrow head had never even graced his skin. Usually that would be enough to make Tony suspicious, but he didn’t have the energy to care. Tony felt tired. Both physically and mentally. The shock of the whole ordeal still not quite settled. He still couldn’t believe it. Had the avengers, his friends, really just abandoned him? Left him there and moved on without him?  


“I want to go home.” He had managed to calm down, but he still didn’t feel comfortable in the presence of the mischievous god. Loki was supposed to be the enemy. It was true that Loki had saved his life, but that didn’t completely erase the hurt of his previous actions. “I want to see Pepper.”  


That had been the voice of a broken man. Loki knew that. And no matter how much he wanted to grant the man´s simple wish, he knew that he couldn’t. Not now when he was so close.  


“I don´t know if that is wise, Tony. Maybe you should stay here, until you feel better.”  


The glimpse of hope in Tony´s eyes died out as soon as the words left Loki´s mouth. It truly was a heartbreaking sight, to see the confused disappointment in his faces as he turned his eyes to the ground.  


“You can´t return to the tower. Not yet I´m afraid. But I might be able to bring her here.” This hadn’t been a part of his plan. He had underestimated the relationship between the two, and now he was forced to improvise.  


“Is she here?” Tony´s head shot up from his chest, new light burning in his eyes. The red flags of the whole situation should have been enough to make him doubt Loki´s sweet words, but he desperately wanted to believe in them. He wanted to see Pepper so badly. Hear her voice. Feel her arms wrapped around him. He didn’t even care about the scolding that he would most likely be submitted to. Tony just wanted to return back to normal. Even if just for a short moment.  


“No, but she will. I promise you that.”  


Loki´s plans for Tony had been malicious and ugly from the very beginning, but he was beginning to second guess his decision. He wasn’t known for being the kindest of souls, but even he must have a line to cross. Was this it?  


“Thank you.”  


Tony´s soft voice snapped him back to reality. He looked so human. Loki had always had a sort of pride over his half god status, but he had somehow found a feeling of equality in the engineer. His intellect and ingenuity had been enough to make him stick out from the mass, but it was deeper than that. Loki had seen something divine in him. Something worthy the attention of a god. But now, when he looked down at Tony he looked more human than he had ever seen him. Drained, anxious, scared. But also hopeful and relieved. And Loki realized he would have to tell a horrible lie. One Tony would never forgive him for if he ever found out.  
Loki turned his back to Tony. The quicker he acted out his promise the quicker it would be over. Besides, he couldn’t stand to look at Tony´s shaking form any longer. This wasn’t the man he had wanted, but he knew things needed to become darker before the light could shine on them. Just a few more mind games and Tony would fall right into his arms.  


With a sight, Loki left the room. No more words uttered.  
________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ _______

 

Tony was once again left alone in a room he didn’t quite recognize. He assumed Loki had taken him back to the abounded warehouse, and that this was just one of the empty storage rooms, but he really couldn’t care less. Loki could have brought him to a luxury hotel, an amusement park or a dirty alley way, and it wouldn’t have made a difference. He wanted to go home, return to his tower and the familiarity of his own belongings. Had asked the god to take him there, but been told it wasn’t a possibility. Deep down he had known that was the response his request would receive. Feared it. But he had asked anyway. And even though he had known, it had still hit his chest like a brick. He had wanted to question Loki´s decision. Argue that he was well enough to make the trip, and that he had the right to decide when to leave. But some part of him had told him to lay down the fight and roll over. That he should do as told and be compliant.  


´I will still be able to see Pepper. Loki had promised me that, ´ he told himself. Ignoring the thoughts of doubt and mistrust clawing at the back of his head. Choosing to be oblivious and believing in the words that would make him feel better, rather than the ones which rang the truest. ´Everything will be fine.´  


“Tony? Is that you?”  


Tony raised his head to meet a pair or blue eyes, looking down at him with so much worry and hurt. He couldn’t look at her. Not when he knew he was the one responsible for the look on her face. His eyes found their way back to the stone floor, his head bowed in shame. He had left her in the middle of the night and put himself in unnecessary danger by challenging a god and nearly got himself killed in the process. Again. And after all that, Pepper had still chosen to see him?  


“Tony, I´m so glad. I thought… I thought that you were...” Pepper fell silent, her voice trailing away into a shaky breath. She was upset, sad, and probably frustrated beyond words with him. He didn’t feel the need to justify himself, because he knew he deserved whatever Pepper wanted to throw at him. But he couldn’t wait any longer. Tony wrapped his arms around her midsection, his head still bowed down.  


“I´m sorry, Pep.” His voice was barely more than a whisper, but it was the only sound he was able to produce before his throat felt thick with unshed tears. He wished he had never left the bedroom in the first place. Then maybe, just maybe, nothing of this would have happened. They would have returned back to sleep and they would have spent the night together in bed. No alien gods, weird visions or psychotic teens. It was probably nothing more than wishful thinking. Not that it really mattered. The damaged was already done and Tony didn’t have the ability to turn back the clock. No matter how hard he wished that he did.  


“I told you the avenger’s initiative was a bad idea. That it was dangerous.” Pepper petted his head soothingly.  


“I know.”  


“But you never listen.”  


“I know.”  


Tears stung in his eyes and threatened to fall, but Tony refused to give in to his emotions. He didn’t want to hear it, but he knew Pepper was right. She was always right, and he cursed his own stubbornness for not listening more to her better judgement. ´Sorry´ wasn’t a strong enough word to fix all the mistakes he had done and he knew that. Instead he decided to stay quiet, still hugging her body. He could feel her breathing as he lightly pressed his head against her chest.  


“Tony…” Pepper began but Tony cut her off.  


“I want to go home.” His voice more akin to a young child than the proud inventor she knew him as. “I know I screwed up, again, but please. I just want to go home.”  


Loki couldn’t do this anymore. This was far beyond cruel. This was torture. But he knew that Tony would never give up trying. Not as long as he still had a reason to fight. A heartless though sprung to his mind. The woman clearly meant a lot to Tony, but she was a distraction. And Loki had no intentions of sharing his genius with anyone.  


“I´m sorry, Tony.” Pepper let her hand slide from his head to cradle his face, gently tuning it up to catch his eyes. He looked broken. So completely taken back by her words. “But I don´t think that’s a good idea.”  


Tony could feel something tear in his chest. He thought he had prepared himself for any response. Anger. Sadness. Frustration. Anything. But this. This was something completely different from what he had expected. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.  


“What do you mean?” He looked up at her with pleading eyes, desperately hoping that it was all just a misunderstanding.  


“I have told you again and again. But you never listen,” she started with a deep sorrow in her voice, as if what she was about to say was hurting her.  


“Please, Pepper. I promise to do better. Just…”  


“That´s the thing, Tony. You promise and promise, but you never keep any. How am I supposed to trust you when you never tell me anything?”  


“Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?”  


“Disappearing in the middle of the night? Telling me that everything’s fine when it´s clearly a lie? Running of with the avengers and nearly getting yourself killed?”  


“I do it to protect you. I have to. Because if I don’t…”  


“No one else will? Tony, this wasn’t the life I wanted with you.” She paused a second to look at him. Tony looked back at her, eyes wide in panic as he tried to get a grasp on the situation. “We had a beautiful house. The Stark industries was blossoming. We were happy. Wasn’t that enough?”  


“You know I couldn’t continue down that road. Not after what happened in that cave.” He swallowed down the bad memories and tried to be strong.  


Loki looked down at the man in front of him through the eyes of Pepper Potts. The hands that had previously been wrapped around his waist was now shaking slightly. Tony was close to a breakdown, Loki could see it in the pained expression on his face. It would all soon be over. Just one more push.  


“I believe a part of you is still inside that cave. You´ve changes so much.”  


“I changes for the better. Can´t you see?” He raised his hand to place it over Pepper´s.  


“I save people. I thought you were proud of me.”  


“You can´t save everyone, Tony.”  


“My previous decisions has led to so much pain and death. I need to make it right somehow. I know I can’t wash away the blood on my hands, but I can´t just turn away, knowing that I have the power to help.”  


“You are a scientist, Tony. Not a soldier.”  


“I know. But I need to do this.”  


“I know you do. But I can´t do this anymore.” She breathed out a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”  


“Please don´t.” He could feel his heart hammer painfully against his ribcage. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. They were supposed to have a warm reunion. Pepper would yell at him, fuzzing over his scratches and bruises and call him out for being reckless. And he would ensure her that everything was alright. Telling more lies…  


“I gave you the chance to change your mind. To reconsider. But all you do is come up with excuses and make more promises that you won´t keep.”  


Tony could barely breathe. Everything was moving too fast. He didn’t understand what was happening. They have had this argument many times before, practically every time Tony shows up on the doorstep with a bruised face and blood on his armor. But this time was different. He could feel it. The air felt… tenser somehow. A seriousness no amount of charm or jokes could break.  


“Pepper.”  


“You have a brilliant mind, Tony. And a big heart. But sometimes I think that gets the best of you.” She let go of his face, taking a step backwards to create some space between them.  


“Don´t do this. Please, don’t do this.”  


“This is goodbye, Stark.”  


The use of his surname felt like a knife, trust into his chest and twisted around. This wasn’t happening. First the avengers and now Pepper? His mind refused to process the words, sending his body into a panic.  


“Don´t leave.” He tried to reach out to get a hold of her hand, but Pepper was already walking away.  


“Pepper!” His voice shook as he tried to get her attention. He couldn’t hold it back anymore. Tear started to fall down his face as he sunk down to the floor. “I´m sorry…”  


Loki kept on walking, ignoring the desperate pleads and cries for forgiveness. ´It was a necessity, ´ he told himself. Pepper had been a bump in the road and needed to be removed. And that´s what he had done. He had acted out of kindness. Keeping her alive and making Tony believe in a lie rather than taking her life in front of him. He may have acted out of his own selfishness- he needed Stark to trust him after all- but none of it would matter in the end. `It had been a necessity.´


	9. Chapter 9

“You don´t need to stay in here, you know. You are free to roam this building as you like. I know it´s nothing like the fancy tower you are used to, but one cannot afford to be picky.” Loki was leaning up against the doorframe, watching Tony with curios eyes.  


Tony´s face was still a bit red, but the tears had stopped and been replaced with an emptiness. He had curled up against the wall, arms tightly wrapped around his body, with eyes staring into nothingness. Loki wasn’t sure whether or not he should be pleased or worried over the aftermath of his little act. Tony was heartbroken. Alone. Confused. And he wouldn’t try to contact Pepper Potts, or the avengers, out of respect. They had made up their minds, or at least that’s what Tony believed, and he wouldn’t argue or beg. This was exactly what Loki had wanted. To be the only point of focus in Tony Stark´s world. The only one to receive his attention and share his brilliance.  


“I made you something to eat if you are hungry.” No answer. Not even a head turn. Could the man even hear him? Or was he just being stubborn? “Tony, you need to eat.” Still nothing.  


Frustration grew in the pit of Loki´s stomach as he walked up to Tony´s still form. “It´s quite rude not to answer when being spoken to, Tony.” Tony finally seemed to acknowledge his presence in the room. He slowly turned his head up to look at Loki, his dark eyes dull in the dimmed light.  


“She left me. They all did,” he said, not answering Loki but rather thinking aloud. “But it shouldn’t be much of a surprise. It was just a matter of time.” He gave a small laugh at that. As if he was trying to lessen the pain by laughing it off but didn’t quite make it. The mask he had fabricated to give the illusion of control and comfort had fallen from his face and left him painfully exposed. This was the Tony Stark the avengers and the title of iron man had created. Someone scared, anxious. A mere shadow of the confident and proud man he once was. But Loki would bring that man back. He just needed to find a way of bringing back that confidence.  


“They are fools for leaving you. They don´t realize your true potential.”  


“I think that´s why they left. They finally uncovered the truth: that I´m nothing more than a failure, a mere shadow of the man my father was.”  


Loki knew where the conversation was heading and that he had to make a fast turn before he lost him. They were walking a very delicate thread, every wrong move could be the final push that would send him falling.  


“You are tired, Tony. You need to eat something and then get some proper rest.” He grabbed hold of Tony and pulled him to his feet. Like a deer on ice he struggled a bit to find his balance before giving up and letting Loki support him. Whatever had happened to him had had a bigger impact on his body than he first realized. The exhaustion was enough to make him wobbly, but there was something else. He felt completely drained of energy, like he was in some kind of haze.  


“Tomorrow things will be easier. I promise.” Maybe he was right. It was easier than he would have liked to trust the calm voice of the god. Perhaps he was just so desperate to find a comfort that he didn’t care from where it came.  
“The sooner you get your energy back the sooner you can return back to normal. If you behave yourself and eat I might even find you some scraps to tinker with.”  


Tony was too exhausted to catch the controlling undertone in Loki’s words. He was right. His mind wasn’t in a rationale state and the fogginess he felt didn’t make things better. It had been a long day. Days? Week? Tony wasn’t sure. It had all felt like an eternity, a never ending nightmare. But he had woken up in Loki´s care just a few hours ago. Wasn’t that right? Loki had saved him. He had saved him from the criminals, the kid who had tried to…  


The air suddenly felt thick and heavy as it entered Tony´s lungs. His hands flew up to his chest to feel the cool metal through his shirt. It was still there. His reactor. Loki had arrived before the kid got the chance to finish his work, and he had saved him. Where the avengers had failed to help, Loki had succeeded. He had saved him.  


“What happened to the thugs? The kid?” Tony asked, his head turned towards the ground. He was trying to figure things out. Gather information and get a clearer view of the situation, but it was all so confusing. He needed something to hold on to. Something to give him clarity.  


“Don´t worry about them. I took care of it.” The worried look on Tony´s face made him quickly add “I didn’t kill them. I just gave them a smack on the hands and handed over them to the police.” It was all just a lie. It had all been nothing more than a cruel illusion. But to Tony it felt more than real, and Loki had no intentions of bursting that bubble.  


“I see-“  


After everything he forced Tony to go through- the betrayal, the loneliness, the fear and the pain- Loki couldn’t understand how the inventor still could feel even a smidge of sympathy for the kids who had hurt him. It was the one thing he couldn’t beat out of him. Tony´s care for others, his selflessness. But that wouldn’t stop Loki from trying. It simply meant that he would have to find other means of going about it.  


“Thank you,” Tony said quietly as he turned his head up to face Loki. A faint smile danced across his face. “For saving my ass.” He may be beaten and exhausted, but he was still Tony Stark. His cockiness and charm was clear proof of that.  


Loki smiled back, feeling a deep satisfaction in his chest as he led the man out the door. Tony looked so beautiful with his hair all messy His eyes dark with sorrow and a brave little smile on his lips. But this was only the preview, Loki reminded himself. The genius would soon look magnificent, once he gave in fully and submitted to him. And it would feel incredible, seeing the man bow in front of his feet, willingly.  


“Come. Let´s get you something to eat.”  


This time Tony didn’t refuse or reject the offer. He simply gave in and let Loki lead him wherever he pleased. He didn’t care what Loki wanted him to do. As long as it meant that he could lay his head down and sleep at the end of it, he would gratefully accept whatever dish Loki put in front of him.  


He repeated Loki´s words in his head like a mantra, hoping that they carried some truth behind them. Tomorrow things will be easier. He had spent too many days and nights awake to know that sometime all you need is a good rest to see things clearer. When he woke, he would still be in this abended warehouse. He would still be with Loki. And his friends would be far away. But at least he would have his mind, up and running on its full potential, and that thought alone was enough to give him a sense of calm. He would eat. He would sleep. And tomorrow things would be easier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I´m sorry for the long wait and the short chapters. I´ve been busy working on my own original novel, and to be frank, I haven’t had that much motivation to work on this fanfiction. I love the fandom, and I really like the ideas I have planned out for this story. I just haven’t had the energy to work on it.  
> But what do you guys thing this far? Is it interesting? Should I change something? Is there something special you want to see? I already have a plot planned out, but I’m very open for suggestions.  
> Thank you all, btw, for the kudos. And I hope you all had a good Christmas and that this year will be great for you.


	10. Chapter 10

Pepper stepped into the elevator, taking her down to the main floor with the kitchen and the living room. The stressful event of last night, having to forcefully wake Tony from a nightmare before watching him storm of had left her unable to fall back to sleep. A part of her had hoped that Tony would come back after calming down. That he would give her a quick kiss, apologizing for leaving her alone, and rejoin her in bed, but she had known him long enough to know that it was nothing more than wishful thinking. Tony hadn’t returned, and Pepper had laid back down with her eyes closed. Trying, but failed to get a good night’s rest.  


When the alarm clock at her side had given her a shout around late morning, she had risen from the bed, feeling even more tired than she had when first lying down. She was disappointed, but not surprised, to feel the emptiness by her side. Being together with a genius engineer, who also happened to be a member of the greatest assemble of superheroes, had its pros and cons. She had been aware of Tony´s bad habits even before he took on the title of Iron Man, but sometimes she wondered to herself if it was all worth it. Their lives hadn’t exactly been mundane prior to the avengers. They had been busy running the Stark industries, attending conventions and taking care of press work. But it would be a lie to say that things hadn’t been easier before aliens fell to earth through a hole in the sky.  


She loved seeing Tony work. That small smile that appeared on his face when he talked to his creations, petting DUM: E on the head or discussing various topics with JARVIS. And she adored the way his whole face lit up whenever he managed to crack a particular hard problem. But as of lately she had seen less and less of that. He looked tired. Stressed. Older. And it pained her to see the obvious pain he was in and not being able to help him. She loved Tony, and had made a promise to always support him, but giving in to Fury and joining the Avengers had been a mistake. It was destroying him, and Pepper wasn’t sure for how much longer she would be able to just stand by and watch her love dig his own grave.  


The elevator gave a little ding as the doors opened up to the living room. It was empty. No sign of Tony, or any of his avenger friends. She didn’t know what she had expected. Maybe to find her partner standing by the kitchen counter with a coffee mug in his hand and a piece of toast in the other, wishing her a good morning. Or, more realistically, a past out workaholic on the sofa, a thin string of drool hanging from his open mouth. But Pepper found neither as she took a quick stroll through the area.  


An uneasy feeling started to grow in the pit of her stomach. Something didn’t feel right, but she told herself that there were no reason to worry. There were still one plausible place that her little genius could keep himself locked up in. It would have made more sense to have gone straight to his lab, seeing that Pepper was more than familiar with Tony´s way of dealing with things, but she had hoped that he would have somehow seen sense and chosen to take better care of himself.  


She headed back to the elevator and pushed the button taking her down to Tony´s private haven- his workspace. The ride down felt like an eternity with the anxiety growing in her stomach. "It´s fine," she told herself. "Tony probably went straight to his lab and started tinkering on some new prototype and lost his concept of time."  


As he doors to the elevator opened she took a hesitant step outside.  


"Tony?" she called out. It was odd, seeing how calm and still everything was. No music blasting on full volume or loud metallic clinks. No sparks of flames or moving robots. Under normal circumstances Pepper would be pleased to see the place so clean and quite, but the cold atmosphere only made her concern grow even stronger. Something wasn’t right. She knew she should have gone after him when he left the bedroom. Something was very, very wrong.  


"Tony?" She asked again, her worry more clear in the way her voice quivered.  


It wasn’t like him to just up and leave without telling anyone, without telling her. But if Tony wouldn’t answer her calls, maybe someone else would.  


"JARVIS? Where is Tony? Did he head out?" No answer came from either Tony or his A.I. "JARVIS?"  


She could no longer ignore the bad feeling in her stomach as it moved up to her chest, clenching tightly around her heart. Tony not answering her calls was something she could take, but not being able to reach JARVIS was something completely different. The A.I was supposed to be the ears and eyes of the tower. It was designed to keep an eye out and protect them at all times. So why did he not answer?  


Pepper took a few quick steps into the lab. She walked up to one of the chair in the back and froze in her place when she spotted something on the floor. On closer inspections she noticed it was a cellphone. Tony´s cellphone to be precise. That was the final proof she needed to understand that her gut feeling had been right all along. A tech genius like Tony, however forgetful and clumsy he might be a times, would not accidentally leave his phone behind.  


She picked up the phone, turning it around in her hand to see the broken screen and a photo of Steve with a number displayed underneath it. Tony had tried to call Captain Rogers, but something had gotten to him before he had the chance to. And that something must have gotten to the A.I too.  


“JARVIS?” Pepper tried one last time. She already knew that no answer would come, but she was still desperately hoping that it was all just a stupid prank. That Tony would jump out any second from behind a desk and exclaim some cocky comment about how he managed to trick her. But the A.I didn’t speak, and Tony didn’t magically appear from behind one of his workstations.  


With a shaky breath she gripped her own phone and called the only number she could think of.  


“Pepper? How are-“  


“Steve, have you seen Tony?” She said as calmly as she could, cutting of Rogers greeting. The man on the other side sounded a bit taken back by her forwardness, taking a deep breath before answering.  


“No, I haven’t seen him in days. I though he was in the tower with you:” Steve still sounded calm. In his mind seeing Tony wander about wasn’t exactly a call for worries. The man was a strong and curious soul who liked to hang out around the city when they weren’t busy on a mission together. But he couldn’t ignore the slight hint of distress in Pepper´s voice. Something must be up. “Pepper, tell me. What´s wrong?”  


“I think something bad has happened.”  


“Well, being around Stark has its ups and downs,” Steve said jokingly, but immediately regretted his words when he heard the shaky intake of breath on the other side of the line. “Pepper?”  
“You don’t understand. Tony is gone.”  


“What do you mean gone?” Steve had been a bit confused over the reason for the call. Surely, he wasn’t on the top of Pepper´s emergency call list. But as the conversation went on, Peppers worry got to him and he started to feel uneasy. Maybe this was more serious than he had first thought.  


“Someone has managed to hack into JARVIS, and Tony is nowhere to be found in the tower. I found his phone in the lad and it looks like there´s been a fight down here. Steve, please. I need you to get over here.” She breathed out a breath she hadn’t realized she had kept. “I don’t know what to do.”  


“Everything will be alright, Pepper. Tony is probably just hanging out at some bar or someplace. I will find him, and I will bring him back unharmed. I promise.”  


“I hope you are right,” Pepper said as she hung up the call.  


“I hope so too,” Steve whispered into the air. He had said what he needed to say in order to keep Pepper calm, but in reality Steve was starting to feel very concerned. Maybe it was nothing. But if he was wrong he would never forgive himself for not taking the situation seriously.  


He didn’t like the idea of Tony being all alone somewhere. Scared and possibly hurt. The man had suffered enough to last a life time, and he deserved to have someone to look out for him.  


Steve grabbed a jacket from the hanger by the door, stepped into his boots and went outside. First stop was the Stark tower. Next the city. And if necessary he would call in for backup. He was still hoping that the man had just decided to have an early morning drink and not bother to tell anyone about his departure. But the facts were still too heavy to ignore. Something wasn’t right.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m trying to get back into a regular publishing schedule, but I don’t want to promise to much.   
> I appreciate any feedback and comment.

“What have you been doing these past months? While we were out doing our job you were spending your nights at the local bars getting wasted and hanging out at you beach house. Are the lives of the people you failed to save really that easy to forget? Or maybe that’s why you drink yourself stupid. If you’re not strong enough to handle it, maybe you should just quit the team. I´m sure we can manage on our own.”  


Tony woke with a deep inhale of breath. To be awaken by the haunting voices of his past wasn’t something unusual, Tony had actually started to accept them as a part of his life. He just wished that it wasn’t Steve´s harsh tone that called out to him. Reminding him of all his past mistakes. Of why he was stuck in this situation in the first place. Anyone else had been fine. Even the traumatizing view of exploding alien ships as he lost control over his suit was more welcoming than that voice. It was just so painful, especially since he still had feelings for him. He still wanted to trust him, but it had been clear that Steve didn’t have the same trust in him. Tony was clever, he was initiative and forward thinking. A good asset to the team, nothing more. And he had been naive for believing in anything else.  


“You care more than you want people to believe. It´s your greatest strength, but it´s also your greatest weakness.”  


Tony rose from the bed he had been assigned the previous night by his host. It was a simple thing with a few pillows and a couple of blankets. Nothing like the bed he had in his own home, but he was grateful nonetheless. In his condition he could probably have fallen asleep on the concrete floor if he had been forced to, but the bed had spared his back by giving him a fair amount of comfort and warmth. He almost felt tempted to stay down, nestled underneath the cozy covers and just drift of, but he knew that was asking too much. Loki had offered him food and a place to sleep, and Tony was having a hard time believing he had done all that out of the kindness of his heart. No, the god wanted something out of him, and the sooner he faced the fact the sooner he would be on his way out of there. By leaving his room and inviting a conversation he would at least regain some of his control over the situation.  


He walked out into the hallway that lead into the main room where he saw Loki. The god was sitting on the sofa with a book in his hands, reading. As Tony stepped closer his attention switched from the pages to the man standing in front of him.  


“God morning,” he said calmly as he gestured for Tony to have a seat. “Did you sleep well?”  


“I slept. We should just leave it at that.” He did as he was told and sat down on the opposite side in an old looking armchair. The place very much still looked like an abounded warehouse, but he appreciated Loki´s attempt at making it feel a bit more homely and less like a prison with its gray interior and broken windows.  


Tony breathed in a deep breath before continuing speaking. “Now, seeing that I can finally think straight, I want to know exactly what´s going on. Gather the facts so to speak.”  


“Nothing’s going on. You were in trouble. I saved you and brought you here. Simple as that,” Loki said, still holding the open book in his hands. His expression was very calm and collected, as if he was trying to explain something to a young child.  


“That´s the thing. Why? Why would you care enough to save me, a fighter on the opposite team? And how did you even know that I needed saving in the first place?” Tony had a bunch of questions, all itching to be asked and answered. Nothing had made sense these last couple of hours and it was driving him nuts to not be able to remember everything clearly. Something was going on, and he would not accept Loki´s short responses as an answer.  


“You are quite an expensive piece of merchandise. Wouldn’t want you to get scratched,” he said as he turned the page.  


“Well, I got a hell bit worse than scratched. I don’t know if you remember, but some kid nearly ripped my fricking heart out,” Tony said, irritation and frustration bubbling in his stomach.  


“I’m sorry it took so long to get you out. But I think it would be fairer to redirect your anger towards the ones who left you there in the first place. Your so called teammates,” Loki said as he closed the book and placed it on the side table.  


“You keep on saying that. But I´m still having a hard time believing you. Something isn’t adding up,” Tony said as he crossed his legs. “The Avengers are a team. My team. And they would never leave someone behind. At least not without a damn good reason.” He knew that he was playing with fire, putting Loki on the spot by asking him complicated questions, but he needed to get a better grasp of the situation. Loki may have saved him once, but that didn’t change his history of chaos and hurt.  


“Perhaps you don’t know your friends and well as you think you do,” Loki said with a smirk as he rose from the sofa, turning his back towards Stark as he walked out the room.  


“Hey, Reindergame,” Tony shouted after him. “Yesterday you promised me something if I behaved. I don’t know about you, but I thing I have made myself deserving of some toys to play with.” He leaned back in the sofa with a playful smile on his lips. ´When in doubt crank up the charm´, he thought to himself. If questioning wouldn’t give him a straight answer than maybe some playfulness and charm would. Besides, Tony was worried that he would bore himself to death if he didn’t get something to work on. Walking out the building and finding some fun on his own was an idea, but Tony had a feeling that wasn’t really an option.  


Loki stopped walking, but he kept his back turned to his guest.” I suppose you have,” he answered, his voice smooth with a hint of challenge. “Come with me.”  


Tony rose from the sofa with a bit too much excitement. He had been worried that Loki was annoyed by him, choosing to walk away from his company, but when he caught the ghost of a smile on his lips, he felt more confident.  


He followed Loki into a small room in the back. When he had first woken up in the facility he had only been exposed to a fraction of the building, and he was a bit surprised to find out that the layout of the place was quite a bit larger that he had anticipated. As Loki opened up the door, Tony could feel the corners of his mouth gently curl in a smile upon seeing the inside. The workspace was nothing like the one in his tower, but it would do. He didn’t like to admit it, but seeing the tools, workbenches and computers all neatly set up made him happy.  


“Wow, I didn’t actually think that you were serious,” Tony laughed surprised as he walk in to get a full view of the space. “I thought you were just telling nonsense so I would cooperate.” He walked over to one of the benches to pick up a tool. The screwdriver felt light in his hand and he balanced it on his fingertips before putting it down again. When Loki had promised him “some scraps to tinker with”, Tony had believed that he meant it literally. And Tony would have been fine with that. Some sheets of metal or lengths of cord, a few screws and bolts. Just something to get his creativity flowing. But this was so much better.  


“Well, it´s not just for your own entertainment,” Loki started. He had walked over to the bench were Tony was looking through the drawers and taken a seat on top of the metal surface. “If you are to help me I figured you needed a space to work.”  


Tony knew it. There was no way Loki would just gift him his own little lab without expecting something in return. There´s always a catch.  


“Ah, the big mission. How could I forgotten?” Tony said and waved his hands. “Correct me if I´m wrong, but I think we already had this conversation. And, I´m afraid, my answer is still the same. I can’t help you.”  


“You think too low of yourself, Stark,” Loki said with an alluring smile. He was starting to grow tired of this cat and mouse game, but he needed to stay calm.  


“No, I’m just a realist, Tony answered as he leaned over the bench, resting on his elbow.” “I barely managed to save New York when that alien invasion, your alien invasion I might add, decided to fall out the sky, and back then I had a whole team on my side. What makes you think that I can stop whatever that- whatever that thing is you showed me? Do I look like a massive fire extinguisher to you?”  


“What I showed you was a prophecy. A promise of a possible future for Asgard and its people, including your friend and my dear brother. But if we can change the curse of time you won’t need to face the flames, and my people won’t need to suffer.”  


Tony straighten out from his position and rubbed his face with a hand. “I don’t even have my suit,” he said, defeated. It was tiresome to hear the same conversation all over again. He had already made up his mind. He would heal, return home to his tower, and try to repair whatever relationship he had left with his friends and family. Taking on missions on his own would only lead to more problems.  


“Then why don’t you just build a new one. I’m sure you have everything you need right here, and if not, I’m more than willing to get it for you.” Loki made it sound so simple, but Tony feared accepting the mission would demand a bit more from him than the assembly of a new iron man suit. The god was hiding something, and whatever it was, Tony doubted it was anything good.  


“I’m thankful for everything,” he said and he gestured to the room. “But I can’t help you.”  


Tony turned to walk out of the lab when a cold hand grabbed hold of his arm. As soon as Loki´s hand come in contact with his skin he could see the images of crimson flames flash before his eyes. He could see the god of thunder, his face contorted in pain as he clutched his chest. Blood seeped through his fingers and ran down his abdomen as he tried to call Mjolnir to him. The broken pieces of the mighty hammer only vibrated lightly where they laid on the dirty floor.  


With a painful intake of breath Tony pushed Loki away. He had hoped to never see the destruction of Thor´s home ever again, knowing that the memories would only add to his growing collection of nightmares.  


“I don’t blame you for feeling no sympathy for me, Stark. And I don’t expect you to feel a need to safe a people you have no connection to. But I know you care about your friends,” Loki said coldly. “If you don’t help me, Thor will die:”  


Tony closed his eyes and took a deep breath. This was slowly getting out of hand. He knew that he should stand his ground, maybe even convince Loki to bring some additions to the team. Not that he thought that the Avengers would be very willing to help him out, any less the criminal who threatened to take over the whole planet. But Thor was a friend, and no matter what, Tony would never abandon a friend.  


“I better get to work then.” Tony tried to flash a charming smile, but didn’t quite have the energy to. This was a bad idea. He knew it, but he needed some time alone to think.  


“I promise to reward you greatly if you succeed in helping me,” Loki said as he made his way out the room. He could sense the human needed some space and was confident enough to leave him by himself.  


“Yeah yeah, love you too,” Tony called after him as he reached for a pen and a sketchpad. The advanced blueprints of his suit was safely tucked away in his lab back at the tower, but Tony remembered the structure enough to recreate a good enough copy to work with. He had looked through the boxes and drawers in search of an excuse not to go through with his work, but had found that Loki had done an excellent job at supplying him with both materials and tools. So he did what he always did when he had a hard time wrapping his mind around the situation- he worked.  


______________________________________________________________________________  


The time spend in the lab just flew by and before Tony knew it the sun had started to set behind the taller buildings on the horizon. He had been given the time he needed to thing and reflect, but he was just as far away from a conclusion as he had been when he woke up that morning. The visions had been enough to keep him motivated and focus on his task- to recreate the iron man armor.  


He had managed to make a great deal of progress and he had even taken the chance to add some new upgrades to the original design. Better flight-stabilizers, stronger repulsors, and a layer of heat resident material, just in case. The core skeleton of the suit was hanging from a hook in the ceiling, and he was just about to start working on one of the gauntlets when Loki walked in.  


“I see you been hard at work,” he said, impressed, but not surprised by the result of Tony´s ingenuity.  


Tony continued to work on the piece of armor in front of him, screwdriver I hand, seemingly unfazed by the company. “Well, you did a great job at keeping any distractions at bay,” he said as he screwed in a small screw tightly, turning the gauntlet over to work on some exposed wires. “I take that the outside world is still off limits?” He already knew the answer, but felt the need to ask anyway. Perhaps Loki would see the ridiculousness in keeping him trapped inside a dull warehouse. After all his hard work, the least thing Loki could grant him as a reward was a few minutes to breath in some fresh air.  


“I’m afraid so,” Loki said, almost sounding sad as he made his way over to view the work.  


“Yeah, figured as much,” Tony muttered and continued to untangle the wires and connect them to their circuits.  


“I know that it´s hard to understand,” Loki started as he walked up behind Tony. He leaned close to his back and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. ”While I´m very grateful to have you here, you also need to understand that having you stay by my side poses a great threat. Until you have proven yourself to be trustworthy I’m forced to take any necessary precautions.”  


As the words left Loki´s lips, Tony could feel a ball of anger form in his stomach. He put down his tools on the table, a bit too roughly, and wriggled out of Loki´s grip. “Proven myself to be trustworthy? Are you kidding me?”  


He took Loki´s confused expression as a no.  


“I have done everything you asked of me. Been cooperative and obeyed all you stupid rules. And I’m still not trustworthy?” The bitter feeling in his stomach was gradually growing bigger and bigger. “If I would have wanted to go against you, don’t you think I would have kicked your royal ass during our first meeting?” Tony said as he glared into Loki´s cold eyes. He didn’t like the way Loki was looking at him. The smugness on his face, the satisfaction.  


“Or perhaps-“Loki took a step closer to whisper the words in Tony´s ear. His breath gently tickled his skin as Loki breathed out. “- you were just too scared to try.”  


That´s it. The ball of pent up anger and frustration burst in Tony´s stomach as he pushed past Loki. The god maybe had the power of keeping him trapped inside the building, but he didn’t have the power to keep him inside the lab.  


As he left he could hear the amused giggle of Loki, but he refused to look back or turn away. He was annoyed, anxious and tired from the long day. And with nowhere else to go he found himself walking in the direction of his assigned bedroom.  


___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  


Tony was seated on his bed, face hidden in his hands. It was late, but he didn’t feel like sleeping. In other circumstances he would have locked himself up in the lab or ventured into the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee, anything to keep himself awake, but he didn’t want to risk walking into Loki. So he stayed in his room, door closed, and a simple lamp to lighten up the small space.  


He didn’t know what was worse. Forcing himself to stay awake, alone, in a room comparable to a jail sail with its naked gray walls and concrete floor. Or giving in to his body´s needs and lay down on the madness.  


With a defeated sigh Tony laid down and curled up on his side. While lying on the small bed, his own arms wrapped around his frame, it dawned on him how terribly alone he felt. The room felt so cold and dark without the bright presence of Pepper by his side. But he couldn’t allow himself to think about that. Not now. Pepper had made her chose and Tony respected her enough to not blame her for her decision.  


Tony slowly closed his eyes and breathed out. He really didn’t want to sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And this is why Tony doesn’t like to sleep.

As Tony opened his eyes he stared directly into the blues of Steve Rogers. The captain looked angry with him as he focused his eyes on Tony, not wavering or looking away.  


“What are you doing, Tony? We both know this isn’t like you,” Steve started, almost sounding sympathetic. Like he was trying to talk down a child who gotten way over his head. It reminded him of his father. The way Howard would talk to him. How he would dismiss him or talk over him, ignoring his voice. “The only thing you really fight for is yourself. You´re not the guy to make the sacrifice play.  


A pair of strong hands suddenly touched his chest and Tony could feel his breath leave him as Steve pushed him to the ground.  


“Mr. Stark displays compulsive behavior. Prone to self-destructive tendencies. Textbook narcissism,” Natasha said calmly, as if she was just stating obvious facts. She had switch places with Steve and was walking around Tony as he lied still on the floor. The sound from her high heels clinking against the floor echoed out into the air like a heartbeat, loud and rhythmical. “He´s not fit to be a part of this program.”  


She stopped and crouched down to look into his face as she continued to speak. “Tony Stark is not approved for the Avengers initiative. You should never have been a part of the team. So why are you?” She looked at him confused. As if she didn’t quite recognize him.  


“Nat-“ Tony said as he got up on his elbows. He tried to reach out for her, but she escaped through his outstretched fingers like smoke. Disappearing just as suddenly as she had appeared.  


“You´re going to kill yourself, Tony.”  


Tony turned around at the sound of his beloved Pepper. She was standing tall, looking down at him with sorrow in her face. It was a face he never wanted to see again.  


“Why? I´ve told you time and time again that it´s dangerous. But you never listen.” He could see the sheen of tears in her eyes as her voice grew harsher, angrier. “You never listen!”  


Tony rose from the floor to meet her face. It was awful to see her being upset. To see her cry. Especially when he was the reasons for her frustration. He tried to touch her arm, an attempt at comfort, but she flinch away.  


“Pepper-“ he started, but she didn’t let him finish his sentence. This was an argument they have had before, and Tony knew a gentle squeeze of the hand or a kind word wouldn’t solve it. But he needed to try.  


“No, Tony. I won’t listen to you lie and make promises you can’t keep.” She turned away and started to walk off. “Good bye, Stark.” The way she used his last name, after so many years together, made his chest ache. It just didn’t feel right. The coldness, the callousness. It felt like she erased every memory, every friendly interaction and intimate moment, with that one word.  


“Pepper!”  


Tony tried to grab hold of her, anything to make her stay a little bit longer, but he was harshly being yanked back by his other wrist. Someone had seized his arm in an iron grip and shoved him up against a wall. As his back hit the wall Tony let out a surprised gasp.  


“Hello, little bunny. Seems like we will be having our fun after all.”  


It only took him a second to recognize the face of the person who was pinning him up against the wall, and he could feel his heart skip a beat as he understood the implication of the kid’s words. ´This isn’t real´, he told himself as he tried not to panic. ´You escaped from him. This isn’t real´.  


“Oh, but this is real, Mr. Stark,” the kid said, as if he had been reading Tony´s mind. He leaned in close to nip at the exposed skin of Tony´s neck. “And I have been looking forward to this for a long time.”  
It felt disgusting. The way his dry lips moved over his skin and up towards his face, and the way he sneered at him. He tried to turn his head away and pull free, but the kid was stronger than he looked.  


“Get away from me,” he breathe out before the boy silenced him by pressing his lips roughly against his. Tony felt sick. This was wrong. This was every shade of wrong, but no matter how hard he trashed or tried to get away, he couldn’t escape the foul taste of the young teen.  


As the boy pulled away, Tony could feel an uncomfortable coldness spread under him. He was terrified to realize that the wall had disappeared and that he somehow was back in the facility where he had been kept prisoner. His body was pressed against the metal table and his limbs were once again held down by cuffs at the sides. ´This isn’t real. It´s just a dream.´  


The kid reached out to pull up Tony´s shirt, exposing the glowing reactor in his chest. A panicked thought struck his mind as he felt the boy’s hands on his chest. Had he come to finish his work? Would he rip out his reactor and finally kill him?  


“I always adored this little night light of yours;” he said as he tapped the reactor with a finger. “It´s a very impressive piece of technology, yes. But it´s so much more than that. It´s like a very unique body modification. It truly is beautiful.”  


Tony had never looked at his chest in the mirror and thought it looked “beautiful”. It had been a necessity to save his life, and yes, Tony had found other means of using it to his advantage, but at the end of the day it was nothing more than a magnet in his chest, keeping the shrapnel from entering his heart. To install it hadn’t even been his own choice. It had been done to him without his knowledge or consent.  


In the beginning it had made him feel hideous. He hated it. The way it made him feel so exposed and vulnerable. And how it reminded him of the horror he been subjected to in Afghan. He had learnt over the years to recognize the event as an important starting point in his journey. It was what had shaped him to the man he is today, and it was in that cave that Iron man had been born. From the ashes of despair and helplessness he had been able to rise and continue moving forward. But he had never been able to completely get rid of the feeling of anxiety he got whenever he thought about it. And nonmatter how brightly the reactors shone it would never be enough to keep the dark away.  


The boy gave the reactor one last stroke before dragging his hands down Tony’s stomach. He lightly traced the outlines of his abdominal muscles with his fingers, barely gracing the skin as he moved downwards. Tony drew in a sharp breath as the boy grabbed hold of his belt.  


“I wonder if this part of you is as beautiful as the rest of your body,” the boy said teasingly as he started to work the belt open. He moved slowly, dragging out every second to make the assault feel like an eternity.  


Tony started to trash around in his restraints, his breath speeding up as he felt his chest tightening with anxiety. The air got stuck in his throat as he started to hyperventilate. It felt wrong, so wrong, and he could do nothing to stop the boy from having his way with him. He shut his eyes, not wanting to see his assaulter, as he tried to hold his breath. It was vital that he got his breathing under control or he would possibly render himself unconscious.  


“Oh, Tony, what have you gotten yourself into?”  


Tony reopened his eyes to see, standing in the young man’s place, the great captain America.  


“Steve-“ Tony breathed out. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Had the captain come to save him after all? However, he quickly realized that Rogers had no intentions of helping him. In the blues of his eyes he could see something dark. Something sadistic just waiting to break free. “Please, Steve. I´m scared.” His plea barely left his lips as a whisper.  


Steve leaned over him and placed a finger over his lips. “Hush now.”  


The simple touch send shivers down his spine. It all felt too real, and that terrified him. The face in front of him was undeniably Captain America´s, and the voice was the same he had grown to respect and love over the years, but the man talking to him was not his Steve Rogers. Something was different, wrong. And somehow that felt worse than starring up into the face of the young kid torturing him.  


Tony watched Steve´s arm muscles move and tense as he climbed on top of him. His heavy body pinning him against the cold table. With his hands placed down on either side of Tony´s head, Steve lowered himself to hum something in his ear. “Tell me, what do you think Howard would say if he could see you now? Cowering in fear under his greatest achievement?”  


Tony curled his fingers into closed fists. He knew there was nothing he could do to throw the super soldier off of him, but he was tired of feeling weak. Of feeling powerless and being spoken down to. And hearing the mentioning of his father´s name only added to the growing anxiety in his chest.  


“Please, don’t. “  


Steve hastily pushed himself up into a sitting position, anger burning in his eyes. “Shut up! Stop whining”, Steve said. His voice deafening loud in the silence of the room.  


It was hard seeing the normally collected and calm captain act so violently and raise his voice. Tony hadn’t thought that there would ever come a day when he would look at his team-mates in fear, but as the captain barked on top of him he could feel his heart seize in horror. There was no way of telling what he would do to him next. No way of anticipating the next attack. And even if there was, there was no way for him to defend himself.  


Tony closed his eyes as he continue to will himself to wake up. It hadn’t help so far, but he refused to believe this to be anything than an awful nightmare created by his sick mind.  


“Look at me!”  


The slap came out of nowhere, snapping Tony´s head to the side. Steve´s hand left his skin burning and his head spinning. Being hit in the face wasn’t something new, but nothing could quite compare to the slap of the chemically enhanced super-soldier. But as he obeyed and opened his eyes he was alarmed to see a pair of dark orbs starring back at him instead of the familiar blue. The kid was back and he was straddling him.  


“I really expected more of you, Mr. genius billionaire playboy philanthropist,” the boy said, pouting a little, as he started to grind himself against him.  


His heart was pounding so hard he could almost feel it in his throat. No matter how much the boy rubbed himself against Tony or touched him, he wouldn’t be able to get the reaction he was looking for. And Tony could see in his eyes that the young man knew that too. The playful expression on his round face slowly switched to one of frustration and disappointment. He stopped moving his hips and let out a deep sigh.  


“You really are no fun at all, old man.” The kid moved his hands up Tony´s stomach and chest until he reached the circular metal piece sticking out of him. With a small laugh he grabbed hold of the reactor and tore it right out of Tony´s chest. “Seems like I don’t have any use of you after all.”  


Tony´s chest exploded with pain as he cried out. If inserting the magnet in his chest had hurt, ripping it out was beyond any pain he had ever felt. Tony squeezed his eyes shut as tears threated to spill and rush down his face. His limbs trembled in their restraints as his body went into shock. He didn’t even recognize his own voice as he begged someone, anyone, to help him.  


The room grew unbearable loud and he could vaguely hear the boy´s laughter warp into a demonic sound, like a massive beast taunting him in the dark. The noise grew louder and louder until Tony could feel a deep vibration inside his own skull. The noise rose until it reached its highest peak, and with a last booming, it went completely silent. Like a switch had been flipped, Tony was left alone, the only noise noticeable was the sound of his own breathing.  


He opened his eyes with a shaky breath and immediately regretted his decision when he saw the endless space of nothingness staring back at him. The one thing that had kept him awake for weeks had finally come back to haunt him.  


As he turned around he could see the blue and green orb that he called home. It was so far away. Pepper, Happy and the Avengers, they were all so far away. And this time he didn’t even have the protective suit of armor to his aid.  


It all dawned on him, as he took in the view of the galaxy, that he wouldn’t be able to return home. Not this time. And in that moment he stopped caring. He officially gave up. If this was what his life would be like- alone, afraid and tormented by nightmares- he didn’t think he could do it. He didn’t think he wanted to.  


He was just so tired.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I´m sorry for the short chapters. This is a very slow built fic, but I can promise you things is about to go south real soon. Tony is starting to see through Loki´s lies and odd behavior and won’t continue to play the good and faithful companion. And of course, Tony´s disappearance can´t go unnoticed for long.

“Tony? Loki said hesitantly as he approached the sleeping man in the bed. He had heard the frightened whimpering as he passed the room and felt a pang of guilt in his chest upon seeing him. Tony was curled up on his side with his arms tightly wrapped around himself. It looked like he was trying to defend himself against some invincible threat. By the look of him, his face scrunched up in pain and fear, Loki guessed it was anything but nice.  


He had walked up to him, slowly as not to startle him and taken a seat on the edge of the bed. When his actions earned no reaction from Tony, who continued to writhe on the bed and cry out for his friends in his sleep, Loki leaned in to wipe away a few loose strands of hair clinging to his sweaty forehead.  


“Tony,” he tried again. This time his voice sounded firmer as he lightly shook Tony´s shoulder.  


His attempt at reassurance only caused the situation to exhilarate. Tony flinched away violently at the touch, not able to tell dream from reality.  


“Please, don’t,” Tony said with a shaky breath as he curled even deeper into himself.  


He was breathing in short quick gulps of air. As he watched on Loki got flashbacks from the time he had pulled Tony out of one of his visions. He remembered how scared he had looked then, how exhausted and confused he had been. Back then Loki had been in control. He had felt confident as he manipulated the controls. But now he could only observe as Tony was tortured by his own inner demons, at loss to what to do. Just as powerless as the man lying down beside him.  


Loki let his hand fall from Tony´s brow to rest on his chest. He could feel the rabbit passed thumbing of his heart. “Tony, you need to wake up.” He felt like a broken record, repeating the same thing over and over again, but he didn’t know what else to say. “I can’t help you if you don’t wake up.”  


The second Loki´s cold fingers graced the reactor on his chest, Tony exploded into a new level of panic. His hands shot up from his sides to claw at Loki. To get away from his touch.  


“No! Don’t,” Tony cried out. He was shaking uncontrollable as he clutches at his chest, covering the blue light with his hands.  


Loki felt guilt form in his stomach as he watched. Perhaps he had pushed Tony a bit too far too quickly. The man had suffered a lot after all, and Loki started to think that it had been selfish of him to have expected so much out of the hero. He had been so caught up in their similarities that he had forgotten about their differences. Where Loki was a god, adoptive son to the great Odin of Asgard, Tony was but a human. A very clever and stubborn man, but a man nonetheless.  


The cries and whispers suddenly died down as Tony began to calm down. It was clear that he was still caught up in his nightmares, his hands lying protectively over his chest and his brows knitted together. But his face slowly softened as he breathed out calmly.  


Loki was relieved to see the man breathing normally again, but seeing him so calm just mere second after experiencing immense panic, was in some sense even more terrifying. It meant that whatever terror Tony had been fighting had either gotten to him, or Tony had accepted it. Giving in to it and stopped fighting.  


“Tony?”  


As the sound of Loki´s voice finally got through to him, Tony slowly opened his eyes. ´It had been a dream. It wasn´t real, none of it was.´ A single tear fell down his cheek as he made an effort to sit up.  


“Are you having trouble sleeping?” Loki asked hesitantly. He knew it was a stupid question after finding him in that state, but he wanted to direct Tony´s thoughts away from the dream.  


Tony raised his hand to tiredly wipe away the tear from his face. He felt stupid, crying in front of another adult about something as childish as a stupid nightmare. If Howard could see him now he would be so embarrass and disappointed in his son. He´s Iron man, a vital part of the Avengers, he really should be able to handle his own nightmares.  


“I don’t really sleep, if I can avoid it. My mind can be brilliant at times, but it also have the scary capability of being dark and demented,” Tony said as he rested his back against the wall. The exhaustion was more prominent now than it had been before he went to sleep. Having bad dreams never did much to leave him well rested at the end of it, but Tony refused to give in. There was no way he would go back to sleep after all that. He would rather push himself to the limit and die of caffeine poisoning than lay his head back down on that pillow.  


“You are afraid of your dreams?” It was less a question and more like a statement. He already knew the answer, but he needed to hear Tony say it.  


There was a long paus in the room, as if Tony needed to gather strength to answer. His hands had fallen from his chest to rest on his thighs, clutching the flesh to keep them from shaking, but Loki still caught the slight tremor in them.  


“Yes,” he finally said, his voice quiet. The only one who truly knew the full extent of his bad sleeping habits was Pepper, and she had figured it out the hard why by finding him in the middle of a bad anxiety attack after a nightmare. He knew that he shouldn’t be, but he felt ashamed of it. As Iron man, a hero, he should be stronger than that, he was expected to. He didn’t even want to think about what the others would think of him if they knew the extent of his issues, how much the job actually affected him.  


“I might not be able to fix you completely-,” Loki said, immediately regretting his choice of word. Tony wasn’t some broken machine to be fixed or mended. It was clear that whatever problem that was causing the man so much pain was deeper than just some bad dreams, but Loki didn’t want to rush him. Tonight´s mishap had been a warning of what could happen if Tony was pushed too hard, and next time might not be as easy of a fix. “But I might be able to help you with your nightmares.”  


Tony finally lifted his eyes to look at him. He didn’t look very hopeful or relieved, on the contrary, he looked tired. As if he had given up and didn’t care whether or not the dreams continued. It was a weird sight to behold. The charming and smiling genius, more than willing to show off his intelligent mind and brilliant people skills, sitting so small and quiet. Anything would be better than the expression Tony wore. Even fear or disgust.  


“I’m not tired,” Tony said. Liar. It was clear that he was just stubborn, and too afraid, to go back to sleep.  


“Tony, I really think you should-“Loki said, but the man didn’t let him finish.  


“I´m just going to down a few cups of coffee and then I can continue working. I will be fine,” he said as he made an effort to rise from the bed. His legs felt a bit wobbly as he stood, but he refused to sway in front of the former villain. With sheer willpower he took a few steps without trembling too bad and crossed his arms over his chest. “We do have coffee, right?” Having a cop of steaming coffee anytime he needed to work, or escape sleep, had become such a big part of his daily routine that he had completely forgotten the fact that he was in an old factory building and not in his tower.  


“Yes. I noticed you had a taste for the beverage while I met you in the Stark Tower,” Loki said, understanding that he might as well just play along since there was nothing he could say to change the man´s mind. He simply had to wait until Tony couldn’t deny it anymore.  


“Then all is good.” He put on a goofy smile before exiting the bedroom. Just another one of his frequently worn masks, perfectly crafted to keep the media and his fellow avengers pleased. “I´ll be in the lab if you need me. 

______________________________________________________________________________  


Tony cut up a sheet of nitinol needed for the other gauntlet before he continued to work on the core. It was a relaxing activity. Tweaking and tinkering away by himself to the soundtrack of ACDC. He had lost his phone at his home, but he had been trilled to find a music player in the back of the room. If it had been another one of Loki´s gifts or just a piece of technology left behind by the previous workers, he wasn’t sure, but it hardly mattered. After a bit of fixing up he had managed to get the old thing to work and it was now blasting music as loudly as he dared without being too much of an announce to the other resident of the building.  


“Jarvis, can you calculate the amount of electricity needed to charge this thing?” He said out loud as he reached for a wire cutter to snip the end of a cord. As he heard his own voice echo out in the room he realized what he had said. ´Right, Jarvis. He’s not here´, he told himself as he continued working. The helpful hand of his AI had been a given for many years, so much so that Tony had almost started to take him for granted. But he didn’t miss Jarvis help as much as he did his company. While working in his own lap back at the Stark tower he had cursed his robot companions on numerous occasion. Throwing threats of disassembling and charity giveaways in the air whenever they messed up or got in his way. But no matter how much they drew him crazy sometimes, he still missed them. Tony had almost expected to hear the familiar beeps of DUM:E as he moved about in the room, but quickly found himself disappointed as the silence remained undisturbed.  


He continued to work in silence. The faster he got the suit done the faster he would be out of there. Why he couldn’t just return to the tower and grab one of his already existing suits was beyond him, but past experiences had taught him not to ask too many questions. He was alive and in relatively good shape considering the circumstances. That really should be enough. At least for now.  


Tony grabbed the coffee mug with his free hand, blessing whichever brilliant genius who had discovered the magical properties of coffee beans. He was already on his third cup and still counting. At this point he was just pouring it down his throat, barely noticing the bitter taste of the black liquid. The caffeine helped him stay focused, but it also left his head feeling like a woodpecker had crawled into his skull and built a nest. Steadily pecking away at the inner walls of his cranium. But it was nothing he couldn’t handle. As long as it was nothing more than a low buzzing migraine he would be fine. It was when the coffee started to affect his coordination, making his fingers tremble, things got really interesting.  


The outside world quickly became a blur as he lost himself in his work. Fully shielded inside a private bubble of formulas, tech and other things that made perfect sense. There was no guessing with engineering. No maybes or gray zones. Either it worked or it didn’t. It was a matter of yes or try again.  


It was funny how time seemed to speed up whenever he was in his lab, knee-deep in work. How the minutes would stretch into hours and the hours stretched into days. It was like he had stepped into a timeless pocket of reality and left all his bodily needs on the doorstep. The stinging in his stomach that could once have been recognized as hunger was nothing more than a background noise, and the coffee that he had consumed in excess no longer had any effect on him. At this time he was mostly working on autopilot, letting his limbs follow the routines he had etched into their memory over years of experience. Tightening a screw with the flex of a muscle. Grabbing and lifting the mug to his lips. Carrying and transporting his tired body across the floor.  
It wasn’t right, he knew that. Pepper had nagged him about it and begged him to take better care of himself. But he also knew how far he could push himself before giving in to nature so it was fine. Everything would be fine. Anything was better than to go to sleep.

______________________________________________________________________________

It had been frustrating beyond belief watching Tony walk out of his bedroom, stubbornly ensuring him that he was in fact not tired at all and that he just wanted to continue his work on the iron man suit. And here he was believing that he was the biggest liar.  


Loki had let him be, thinking that the man would come crawling back when his energy levels dropped too low, but when the hours started to tick by without so much as a sight of him, Loki grew impatient. He knew Tony was stubborn and hardworking, but he hadn’t quite grasped to what extent until now. The poor engineer would work himself to death if he were allowed too. Fortunate for him, he was a far too precious piece of the game for Loki to simply throw him away. So he had walked into the lab and stood by the door observing, surprised to find his presence unnoticed. Tony was too focused on what he was doing that he didn’t register the sound of the door opening and closing or the god entering.  


In a sense Loki felt proud over seeing his man so hard at work, determined to carry out his request, but he couldn’t ignore the expression on his face. Tony worked as if obsessed, his eyes blank and slightly red. The areas under his eyes were purple and puffy, and his hands were shaking as he tried to weld two pieces of metal together.  


Tony didn’t look good, and Loki knew there was only a matter of time before he would pay for his recklessness. He watched as the engineer moved across the room to get something only to lose his balance and stumble on his own feet. As he fell he managed to clumsily grab hold of a nearby workbench and saved himself from hitting the hard ground. Loki was by his side in a split second.  


“Careful now,” he said as he helped him to his feet.  


Tony didn’t seem to register the seriousness of the situation, only looking up at Loki in confusion, wondering how the god could have reached him so quickly.  


“I was just- just working on the part and- I needed to attached this thing and- but I didn’t have the right tool and-“Tony said, stammering as he rubbed his eyes.  


“How much coffee did you have?” Coffee may not be a thing on Asgard, but even he could understand that drinking too much of the drink couldn’t possibly be good for you. Having observed the effect it had on Tony, and finding out that Thor too had a taste for the bitter liquid, he was glad Asgard didn’t serve such a thing. He couldn’t even imagen the hell he would have gone through if he would have been forced to hang around his already hyper brother while high on caffeine.  


“I’m not quite sure, to be honest. I kind of stopped counting after fifteen,” Tony said as he leaned up against the table. A soft smile spread on his lips. “You were being really creepy just now. Watching me from the shadows. I’m not too sure I like being on the other end of that gaze.”  


“It´s a good thing I were. If I hadn’t been here you could have hurt yourself. You could have hit your head on the floor or broken something.”  


“Don´t be such a worry head.” He reached for the mug to take a swig, but put it down once he realized it was empty. “Besides, if I had fallen DUM:E would have caught me.”  


The room went silent for a minute as Tony realized what he had said. ´That´s right, DUM:E isn’t here´, he told himself. ´No Jarvis. No Pepper. Happy. Steve. None of them were.´  


He could feel unshed tears sting in his eyes as he tried to force them down. “I´m sorry. I just- I will be more careful.”  


“Tony, you can´t work like this.”  


“No, I´m fine. I just need to get this-“He tried to grab a hammer from the table but dropped it, flinching when the heavy tool hit the floor with a loud clinging.  


“Tony,” Loki said, voice colder as he tried to talk sense into the man. Tony´s perseverance had been cute in the beginning, but it was starting to get on his nerves. “I can´t allow you to continue like this.”  


“Can´t allow? You were the one who wanted me to build this thing in the first place. And now you won’t allow me to do my work?” Tony looked up at him, some of that old anger starting to come back to the surface. He didn’t understand this alien god at all. He had snatched him from his own home, cost him his relationship with Pepper, forced him to rebuild his armor and now he was told to stop?  


It didn’t matter. He was adult enough to make his own decisions. If he wanted to work on the project he would. And he would continue to do so until he grew tired of it or physically couldn’t do it anymore. To hell with mythical gods and aliens.  


“Whatever,” he said and turned his back to Loki. The suit wasn’t far from completion and Tony would do his best to speed up the process.  


“I’m sorry, Tony, but you will thank me later.”  


“Wha-“  


Loki put his hands over Tony´s eyes, allowing images of calm skies and birdsong to bleed form his fingertips. It wasn’t much, but it would be enough to keep the bad dreams from disturbing his sleep.  
Tony let out a frightened breath before falling backwards into Loki´s open arms, slowly relaxing at the peaceful sceneries in his mind. He was standing in a field, surrounded by the sweet scent of florals. So far away from exploding spaceships, malicious kids and traitorous teammates. Far away from everything stressful, scary and heartbreaking. Just a fresh breeze and a bright summer sun, bathing his skin in its warm rays.  



	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry for the late update. Life had been quite hectic, and my motivation has not been on the top as of lately. But I’m trying my best to make sure the story continues. I would really hate for it to just stop in the middle without a proper ending.

Tony woke, feeling more rested than he had in a long while. It was an odd feeling, waking up feeling calm and refreshed. No cold sweat coating his skin and no chest pain caused by a racing heart and anxiety. That was until reality hit him. No blessings comes without a price, and Tony was finally starting to see exactly what that price was.  


He spread his fingers on the bedding, feeling the fabric under his fingertips as he tried to ground himself. A terrifying thought downed on him. It was an ugly thought, too scary to be a possibility. Because if it were, it would mean that he would have directed his hatred and his disappointment in the wrong direction all this time.  


His fingers went to the bandage around his arm, fiddling anxiously on the wrapping. With an exhale of breath he started to unwrap his arm and looked down at his wrist where Barton´s arrow had pierced his flesh. Where his arms should have been shredded by the arrow head, leaving a puncture hole or a nasty scar, he was met by nothing but smooth untouched skin.  


A chill went down his spine and made him feel uneasy. Perhaps the injury hadn’t been as severe as he had first though? It didn’t make any sense. Surely an arrow should have left a mark behind, even if small. Then he remembered his chest reactor. The piece of technology that the brat had tried to cut out of him. His stomach churned at the memory of the scalpel cutting into him, scratching at the area around the metal before pressing into him. It was something he had blanked out from his mind the past days, not wanting to think too deeply about what could have happened if Loki hadn’t stepped in when he did. Tony hadn’t even dared look at himself after that, only tracing the glowing magnet with his fingertips to reassure himself that the thing was in fact still attached to him.  


It was a ridiculous suggestion. Surely, he was just being paranoid about the whole thing. There were no way that he was making it all up. He remembered feeling the pain when he woke up. Feeling the ache in his chest and the uncomfortableness in his arm. Right?  


Tony rose from the bed to walk into the bathroom and stood in front of the big mirror. The man starring back at him looked so unfamiliar, like a doppelganger. A perfect copy on first look, but the longer he looked at himself he noticed the small out of place details. The slightly overgrown facial hair. The deep shade of purple under his eyes. The tousled hair.  


He touched the hem of his shirt to pull it up, exposing his chest. It was an odd experience, feeling scared to look at himself in the mirror. Looking at his bruised and scarred body, marks from numerous missions and failed experiments, hade at times made him feel queasy, but never scared. Perhaps it was the pressure of the proof that made him feel anxious. The seriousness of what it all meant, and what he would have to do about it. Sometimes being oblivious is better than knowing the truth, but Tony was tired of living in confusion.  


The soft fabric tickled his stomach as he pulled it up. What he saw was nothing out of the ordinary. Just his flat chest illuminated by the tinted light of the reactor. No scratches. And no scars. Nothing. He just couldn’t believe what he saw. There was no way he had suffered through that torture without having marks to prove it. He could remember it happening. The way the coldness of his cell had clung to him, making his bones shake. The smirkness in the voice of the kid as he confessed his perversion. The agonizing shock of electricity as the man had tazed him. He even remembered the events leading up to his capturing. The Avengers had been summoned for a meeting to discuss the problem at hand, but everyone had acted odd. Steve, the always cool and collected leader, had shouted at him. Called him out for being a careless drunk. Clint had used him as target practice, burying one of his arrows in his arm while Natasha had stayed in her corner, quietly observing. And then everything had turned dark.  


Reality hit him like a ton of bricks. The Avengers hadn’t betrayed him. They hadn’t attacked him and dumbed him at the feet of the crazed teens. And he hadn’t been tortured or hurt. None of it had been real. It couldn’t be, and he scolded himself internally for not realizing it sooner. Did he really doubt his own teammates so much that he hadn’t noticed their obvious change of character? Or had his self-hatred gotten the best of him?  


“Checking yourself out in the mirror? I knew you were proud, but I didn’t take you for that big of a narcissist, Stark.”  


“Holy-“Tony jumped at the sound of Loki´s amused voice, letting the shirt fall and cover up his chest as his hands flinched. “Were you actually trying to give me a heart attack? I really should put a bell on you or something.”  


“I made us breakfast.”  


Tony opened his mouth to speak, but Loki quickly shut him down.  


“And there will be no more coffee. I don’t think your heart will survive another cup. Besides, I’m not even sure if there´s any left. I’m afraid you might have already consumed it all.”  


Tony didn’t care so much about the coffee as he did Loki. After last night’s weak attempt at an all-nighter he wasn’t sure he could even stand the smell of the bitter drink. It was probably a good thing that he stayed away from it for a couple of days, or at least hours. Besides, he was positive that he wouldn’t need any caffeine to stay alert. He would curse his own soul and sell it to Satan before he let himself fall asleep in Loki´s presence ever again.  


“Is something the matter? You are looking a bit pale?” Loki observed his face, his eyebrows gently knitted in worry. He reached out his hand to touch Tony´s face and it took every ounce of willpower for him to not flinch away as the cold fingers graced his skin.  


He had a very important decision to make. Either he could confront his captor or he could continue to play along and hope for the best.  


“I don’t think you have a fever.” The hand left his forehead and Tony tied to hide the breath of relief that escaped him. “But it would perhaps be wise to take a little break from your work. At least until you feel better.”  


“No, I’m fine. Really.” Calm. Play it cool, he told himself. It was crucial that he kept up his usual facade. Finding out what would happen if Loki caught him was a question he did not want an answer to. “I’m perfectly fine, honest. Besides, working on that suit is currently my only source of entertainment. If you lock me out of the lab I fear I might bore myself to death.” Put on that signature smile. The smile that makes the flashes go wild during any press conference and the ladies to fall. The smile that shows a confident calmness, and makes his teammates believe that everything will be alright. The one that lies and hides. That’s it.  


Loki´s features softened as he inspected the man in front of him. His own little tin soldier with his fragile mind and broken heart. So naked and vulnerable while out of his metal shell. It was intoxicating being so close but unable to touch. Like observing a great lion caged up in a zoo. Knowing there’s a difference in skill and power, but under fairer circumstances you would both be equally deadly. And that was the exhilarating part. Being the lead in a power waltz shared between equally good dancers. He needed to be kind, but firm. Holding up his head in pride while keeping up the illusion of a possible power shift.  


“I’m sure you can find other means of entertainment if you really wished to. You have proven yourself to be quite resourceful, after all.”  


Tony wasn’t sure how he should take that answer, but thought it best not to ask any further questions, or lowering himself any further by reducing himself to begging. Take one thing at the time, he thought. First breakfast then he could figure out what to do about the whole mess he had somehow gone and gotten himself stuck in. Even Tony, who wasn’t that much of an early food person, recognized the benefits of having a full stomach while working. Besides, if accepting the invitation and having breakfast meant that he could keep the peace for longer, he didn’t mind having a few slices of toast or a bowl of cereal. They had played this game for a while now, and he feared this was all the peace before the storm, and Tony believed that whatever storm Loki could set free would be a lot worse than a few raindrops and the lightening of his brother.  


______________________________________________________________________________  


He was pleasantry surprised to find that Loki had done much more than just dig out some snacks from the back of the cupboard. In front of him, the table was set with diced pieces of fruit and berries as well as a freshly baked loaf of bread, a bowl of nuts and thin slices of meat. The only thing missing was the steaming pot of coffee, but in its place stood a pitcher of orange juice.  


“You really didn’t need to make it so extra. I would have been fine with a cup of coffee and some pop tarts,” Tony said as he took a seat.  


“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day,” he said simply as he too took a seat by the opposite end of the table.  


“Well, can´t argue with that.” Tony reached out to grab a handful of blueberries before leaning back in his chair. He didn’t like to admit it, but he did appreciate the effort. It was quite nice feeling spoiled and cared for. Even if that person was an old foe of his.  


“Besides, I think your body would benefit from a more healthy diet.”  


Tony raised a questioning eyebrow at that. “Are you implying that I need to lose some weight?” Normally he would have taken offense to such a statement, but decided to drop it. Choose you battles, so to speak.  


“That was entirely your own interpretation.” A little smile danced across Loki´s lips as he brought a cup of what Tony assumed to be herbal tea, seeing that coffee had been banned, to his lips and took a sip.  


Being aware of what the other man had put him through, Tony knew that he would never be comfortable to laugh and joke around him again, but he also didn’t like the silence laying over the table like a thick fog.  


“Tell me, Loki,” he began as he popped a few more berries into his mouth. ”Why did you chose me?” The question that had been itching in the back of his head finally spilled out, and only time could tell wheatear or not it had been a good or bad decision.  


The silence grew thicker, swallowing up all the oxygen in the room before Loki finally decided to open his mouth. “I already told you.”  


“Yeah yeah. I´m a brilliant inventor and all that jazz, I know. You aren’t the first one to notice those traits. But surely that can´t be the only reason.” He was walking a thin thread, and he knew it. But once he let his thoughts go it was hard to stop. “On a planet filled with extraordinary men and women, you could have chosen anyone. So why chose someone who had fought against you. Someone who clearly doesn’t share your ambitions?”  


“I guess I saw a bit of Asgard in you. Most humans try to play god, but you aren’t like other humans. To me, you seemed like a god trying to be human. Someone who understands the unfairness of life but still try to fight it.”  


Loki sipped his tea while quietly observing the impacts of his words. It was an intimidating play, looking each other in the eyes, trying to see through the carefully crafted mask of the other. An intense round of a staring competition where losing could mean the end for them both. If the cracks began to spread, the capital they had built, one out of a need for power and the other out of fear, could crumble and fall to pieces and leave them bare to the truth. And Tony feared, that no matter what road he chose to travel down, he had very little to gain and an awful lot to lose.  


“I would chose my words a bit more careful if I were you. Feeding a scientist´s god complex rarely proves to be a good thing,” Tony said jokingly, trying to erase some of the seriousness from the conversation. He didn’t know what kind of answer he had expected from Loki, but being compared to a citizen of Asgard, a god like himself, had not been on his top ten list of guesses. “Trust me when I say this, I´m not a god. And if I were one I would not be a very good one.” As he spoke he remembered the awful consequences his last attempt at playing god had resulted in. His desire to push himself further and the need to work fueled by his anxious mind had all lead up to the birth of the psychical manifestation of his inner demons- Ultron. The AI had been constructed to protect earth and its people, but something had gone terribly wrong, and Tony hadn’t been able to stop it until it was too late.  


The glass in his hand vibrated with regret and pain, and he forced himself to draw a deep breath to calm himself. Loki sat silent at the other end of the table, eyes fixed on him as he enjoyed his tea. The look of him reminded Tony of a snake. Calmly lying back waiting for its pray to make a move before it would flash its sharp fangs and launched itself at the helpless mouse. The small rodent wouldn’t even know what hit it before the fangs perched its flesh and its visions faded to black as a last suffocating squeak left its throat.  


“You Midgardians seems to think that there´s a clear correlation between a kind god and a good god. No, perhaps you would not be, in your words, a good god, Tony. But I believe you would be a fair one.”  


Tony could feel his chest tightening as he heard Loki´s words leave his lips. It felt like someone was pouring poison down his throat, making every breath an agonizing torture. For a second he wondered if the food in front of him had been poisoned. That it had all been a cruel trick to keep him weak and easily manipulated.  


He didn’t know what Loki meant by it, and he wasn’t so sure that he wanted to. Somewhere deep down he feared that it hadn’t been a weird compliment but rather a dark analyzation of his character.  
“If you don’t mind, I would like to return to my work.” The words felt thick on his tongue. Like sticky syrup making its way up his throat, but he forced his voice to speak. He needed to get away from the table, and from Loki, as quickly as possible before he lost it.  


Loki rose from his chair, taking a walk around the table until he reached Tony´s own chair. With pale thin fingers he gripped the back of the chair and leaned in close. “I really like you, Tony. I admire your hard work and your perseverance,” he said in a low voice, nothing more than a whispered, as he gave Tony´s shoulder a gently squeeze. He rose to his full length and let go of the wooden chair. “I guess a few hours in the lab is alright. It would be cruel of me to take your toys away after just letting you play with them once, wouldn’t it?”  


He didn’t like the tone in his voice. The way he belittled him, made him feel like a small child under his care. With just a few words Loki had managed to drag him down from his high chair of respect and power, and made him feel so small and powerless. It was a position he rarely found himself in, and it was a position he rarely put himself in by his own choice. But no matter the uncomfortableness, and the slow growing fear, he allowed the play to go on. He had figured out the rules of the game and was finally ready to make his first move.  


“Thank you,” Tony said as he rose from the table. His heart was hammering against his ribcage as he left in a haste, not daring to look over his shoulder as he exited the room. The corridor felt impossible long as he put one foot in front of the other one, distancing himself from the mischievous god.  


He wasn’t sure for how long he had been kept away from his home. How long he had been feed lies and manipulated into believing he was staying trapped by his own free will under the belief that he had a chance at saving his friend and his people. That he had an opportunity to do something right after so many wrongs.  


As he entered the lab, meet by nothing more than silence and an empty shell of his Iron Man suit, it suddenly dawned on him how naïve he had been. How insecure he had been to believe in the lies, to believe that his teammates had abounded him. That Pepper had left him. He had swallowed it all so easily, convinced that he must have somehow made himself guilty to the crime and therefore deserved the treatment he received.  


He went over to one of the work benches to pick up a tool, realizing that his hands were trembling. It could no longer be denied. He missed his robot companions, and his AI- Jarvis. He missed his friends, his loyal and trustworthy teammates. And he missed Pepper, the love of his life. The one person who had stayed by his side through all his ups and downs, and who had supported him when no one else did. And Tony found himself, not for the first time, regretting not listening to her. If he had only stayed in bed when she begged him to instead of walking away. Maybe things would have been different if he had. If he hadn’t allowed himself to show such a vulnerable side to him.


End file.
